Making Arrangements
by CrownsofLaurels
Summary: Iruka always told her that skipping out on the Academy lectures would come back to bite her on the ass one day. At least the confidentiality clause of this latest mission would keep her from having to hear "I told you so." Kakashi/femNaru
1. Prologue

Story: Making Arrangements

Rating: M

Author: CrownsofLaurels

Beta: Eurwen

Chapter: Prologue/Teaser

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, I write this for fun and am not paid for it.

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**Prologue**

Today would be the day that Naruto's childhood inattentiveness came back to bite her in the ass. Iruka always told her that it would eventually, but so far she had cleverly avoided the chūnin's inevitably smug "I told you so." Currently, Naruto was standing outside of the Hokage's office, white-knuckled grip tightening on the unassuming scroll in her hand. Her expression hovered somewhere between horror and nausea, something she'd only exhibited once before in her life, when told that Ichiraku would be closed two weeks for renovations.

_What had her academy teachers told her about this type of mission again?_

_Nothing._

_Absolutely nothing, so when this mess blew up she could completely blame them, right?_

_Right._

Somehow, her thoughts weren't as comforting as they should have been. Naruto fought off the edge of hysteria threatening to overcome her as she desperately tried to recall anything that she had been taught that might help her with her current situation.

Naruto Uzumaki couldn't tell you a lot about her Academy experience. If asked, she would reply that it was long, and boring, and that she didn't remember most of it. This would be about the time that she realized Iruka was standing behind her and would receive a slap to the back of her head. Iruka would explain that Naruto's memory lapse was most likely due to the fact that as a child, Naruto skipped lessons as much as possible and often had to be deposited kicking and screaming into her chair hours after class had started by whatever unfortunate ANBU drew the short straw for Naruto-catching duty.

Naruto could say confidently that the Academy had taught her to be a ninja, but words failed her if she attempted to describe her village's teaching process in detail.

In actuality, Konoha's Academy had been fine-tuning a training curriculum that spun children into ninja for decades. Other hidden villages might describe Konohagakure as taking a "sensitive" approach to teaching (if they were feeling polite). The Village Hidden in the Leaves was often ridiculed by other nations for being "soft" and "hesitant" when it came to the ninja arts. Most hidden villages took the position that, no matter how one looked at it, a ninja village survived and thrived by teaching young boys and girls how to become effective killers. Therefore, the majority approach regarding teaching strategies was to desensitize children to killing as quickly as possible through brutal training methods.

Konoha had developed its own ways to desensitize children to the idea of killing, but they took a longer time to do so. This was, of course, unless the village was at war, then they followed the advanced curriculum (which Iruka could tell you about, but it is entirely irrelevant at this point since Naruto had never experienced it). But what made Konoha's training methods so different is that the village didn't believe that the primary purpose of a ninja was to kill, but rather, to protect. Konoha ninjas existed to protect their country, their village, their comrades, their precious people, and the future. To protect effectively required a broader and more complex skill set than that of someone who merely needed to know how to kill.

Thus, the Konohagakure Academy curriculum focused on introducing its charges to a wide variety of subjects. Konoha was unique in encouraging its ninja to exchange knowledge and skills. In a profession where lives were won or lost depending on the secrecy of one's techniques, this was not an easy thing that the village asked of its shinobi. While Konoha ninjas didn't lay all their cards down on the Academy classroom tables, they emphasized on the importance of giving Academy children as much information and training as possible. Teachers actively tried to ferret out their students' particular interests and talents, nurture curiosity, and encourage success in areas outside of the classic defensive and offensive techniques: ninjutsu, taijutsu, and genjutsu. Iruka was invested in each and every child that walked through his classroom doors…he would be embarrassed to admit that it took longer than it should have to become invested in Naruto's life, but she loved him despite this and he was a sucker who increased his weekly ramen budget whenever she brought up the issue, and as such, they'd made their peace.

One of the ways the Academy taught such a broad curriculum was through its famous lecture series. The lecture series consisted of 87 lectures on set topics. One lecture was given every Thursday each week that the Academy was in session. Once the 87th lecture was given, the Academy began the series again with Lecture 1. This way, every child who entered the Academy around the age of five would have an opportunity to hear every lecture by the time they chose to take the graduation exam. Iruka was responsible for Lecture 75, Advanced Trapping, which taught the children how to increase the effectiveness of traps by making minor adjustments to suit the variables in weather and terrain. Naruto skipped the lecture the first time that it was offered, in her third year of schooling. However, when it was time for Iruka to repeat the lecture, Naruto was present and participating as a demonstrative aid, one of Iruka's more creative punishments for putting mud in the teacher's lounge coffee maker earlier that week.

The lectures covered in-depth discussions about concepts that could only be touched upon in the regular classwork. They discussed fūinjutsu, juinjutsu, and senjutsu. Several lectures were devoted to medical ninjutsu, hammering in advanced first aid techniques that might one day save a classmate's life. Some lectures were devoted to specific types of weaponry. Tokubetsu jōnin would lead the students through practice exercises and see if they could find anyone with natural talent for their preferred area of expertise. Naruto remembered the kenjutsu lecture fondly. No one that day had been singled out by showing exceptional promise, but the day had been long and it had been a great stress reliever to knock Kiba senseless with a wooden stick without reprimand.

The lectures weren't mandatory. Oftentimes, clan children already knew the information offered in the special sessions or had parents who prohibited them from practicing certain areas of techniques. Additionally, some of the lectures were tailored for gender. Naruto had no idea what the boys discussed in their private lectures, she just wasn't that curious once Chouji had confirmed that they hadn't been taught any "super-awesome" ninja techniques or better ways to explode things.

Personally, Naruto found the female lectures excruciatingly boring as they often covered subjects such as flower arranging, which, Naruto was distressed to learn, apparently included an entire language in which she was expected to be proficient. Other common topics included how to wear formal kimonos (like she would ever need to do that as a ninja, _please_), or how to use face-paints to enhance facial features (she lost interest in that as soon as the teacher confiscated the orange paints). They were also taught proper ways to serve tea, practiced traditional dances, tested for musical ability, and instructed in the language of fans. (_Come on_, thought Naruto, _exactly how many languages were girls supposed to know? No wonder men complained they couldn't understand them…it was a wonder girls understood themselves_).

But, amidst the kunoichi only lectures, Lecture 39 held a place of prominence. Lecture 39 could only be attended by those ten or older and was offered every year. It was the _seduction_ lecture. Naruto sat in the back and rolled her eyes at her classmates, who maintained a constant stream of giggling throughout the period. It was taught by an elderly woman…thin, petite, and stern with silver hair that she kept tidily piled atop of her head in a simple bun. Kiyomi-sama had a no-nonsense attitude that Naruto usually detested in her teachers, but she had an air of confidence and grace that made Naruto hesitant to test the boundaries of acceptable classroom behavior, which she normally did with the subtlety of a battering ram. It helped that Kiyomi-sama neither singled Naruto out for bullying nor completely ignored her, but instead treated her the same as every other young girl with whose education she'd been entrusted. The woman wasn't compassionate by any means, but as she knelt at the front of the room in her conservative, jewel-tone yukata, she addressed everyone in a detached, composed manner which implied that she had done this more times than they had taken breaths of this world's air and would continue to do so long after most of them stopped. After all, she was retired and they would be active ninja soon, their life expectancies were understandably shorter even compared to her considerable age.

Perhaps part of Naruto admired Kiyomi-sama, even if it was somewhat grudgingly. There had to be _some_ reason that this woman was one of the few instructors who Naruto honored by remembering her name. However, this didn't mean that Naruto remembered or paid attention to all of the woman's instructions in any of the several kunoichi lectures that she taught Neither did it mean that Naruto was particularly interested in the infamous Lecture 39, which kept her female classmates blushing and giggling at random intervals for weeks before and after it was held, much to Iruka's consternation.

Naruto recalled the telling signs of hard won age in Kiyomi-sama's features as she gently addressed the horde of small girls gathered to listen to her words of wisdom. "Remember," the serene woman had said with a face that neither smiled nor frowned, but looked like the reflection of the sky in the lake on a soft, summer day. "You can't control the intelligence that you're given on a target, if it's bad. Other than what can be adjusted by transformation techniques, or soothed away by genjutsu, you can't control, and are not responsible for, the target's tastes. Seduction missions have the potential to affect you more here," and at this the old woman had raised a soft fist to her heart, "and here," the fist moved to gently knock against her temple, "than any other mission if it goes badly and spirals out your control."

Kiyomi had paused for a minute to take a sip of tea, as she always did before emphasizing an important point to her students. "If you forget all I've said, remember this: No matter the technical outcome of a seduction mission, it will be a personal success for you as long you refrain from becoming emotionally attached to the target. Don't give the target's words, opinions, or actions any weight. The target does not get to determine whether you are beautiful, or valuable, successful or important. The target doesn't have that power unless you give it to them. Without an emotional commitment, the target is powerless and you will emerge from your mission successful in the ways that count the most."

Kiyomi-sama said a lot more in the lecture, but those words were the ones that Naruto clung to now, eight years later. Naruto wished she could track down the old woman and force her to answer all the questions that Naruto hadn't been interested in or aware enough to ask as an obnoxious ten year-old.

After all, Kiyomi never told the class what to do in a seduction mission where one was invested emotionally in the target before the mission actually _began_.

Naruto was so _screwed_.

"_In more than one way,_" chortled an unwelcome mental presence.

"Shut up, Kurama."

* * *

A/N: Welcome to my new story! I've been working hard on this and have quite a few chapters already written and a solid outline, I'll be trying to update once a week, with Friday being my usual update day. This story is being beta read by the wonderful Eurwen de Vrill, who has been extremely generous with her time and attention to help me polish this up and get it presentable. For the curious, I'm estimating a minimum of 18 chapters, not including prologue and epilogue and roughly 85,000 words total. However, I've already had to split several chapters as I go along, so we'll see how well that estimate holds up at the end of the story. The main pairing will be revealed next chapter and is non-negotiable.


	2. The Mission, Part I

Story: Making Arrangments

Rating: M

Author: CrownsofLaurels

Beta: Eurwen

Chapter One: The Mission

Summary: In which Tsunade and Naruto discuss business. Which means, of course, that Tsunade gets drunk.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, I write this for fun and am not paid for it.

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**Chapter One: The Mission**

Naruto knew that something was off when she stepped into the Hokage's office, called out "Hey, Granny, what's shakin'?", and wasn't met with a punch through a wall. She didn't even get a tick of the eyebrow.

Naruto paled. "Oh God, who died?"

The older blonde snorted and rolled her eyes, flicking her fingers toward the empty chair across from her desk. "Sit down, Uzumaki."

Naruto relaxed a bit at the familiar address and slumped into her seat. While lately it wasn't unusual for Naruto to keep Tsunade company in the Hokage's private office, it was unusual for the girl to be summoned there for a mission assignment. Typically assignments were distributed at the main mission desk, mostly manned by chūnin with occasional supervision from the Hokage. It was rare for the Hokage to call a ninja in for a private conference regarding a mission assignment. Generally the Godaime gave out private assignments only to ANBU or to experienced jōnin when missions required more confidentiality than usual and/or the risk of compromise was particularly high.

For Naruto, it was a bizarre experience to report to the mission desk and be told that the Hokage had requested her presence for a private assignment. After the whole Madara mess two years ago, Naruto was regarded as a war hero and Tsunade's unofficial future successor, but Naruto was still only a chūnin in rank. She technically lacked the appropriate clearance for important solo missions…which was why the younger blonde was a little discombobulated as she kicked her feet, waiting for the Hokage to break the odd tension.

"Leave us, Shizune." Tsunade's brisk command startled the dark haired woman sorting through a stack of haphazardly piled papers on the leader's desk. With only a brief, inquisitive look at the pair, she scooped up a happily snuffling Ton-ton and left, closing the door behind her with a quiet wooden click.

The morning sun warmed the highest room of the Hokage Tower and cast a cheery light over the unusually peaceful atmosphere. Tsunade rested her elbows on the desktop, fingertips gently pushed together as she regarded the wary teenager sitting on the opposite side of the desk. Over the past few years, the child had repeatedly proved herself to be more than capable of accomplishing any task that the village set for her. However, she still seemed so young from the Hokage's side of the room. Still a little too young to sit in Tsunade's chair, at least. And perhaps too young for the assignment outlined in the slender scroll that Tsunade retrieved from a locked drawer. She set it down between them. It didn't contain an easy task, and while Tsunade understood the necessity of its contents, it didn't mean that she had to like it. Any of it.

With a groan, the older woman dropped her head onto her fingertips, then took a breath before channeling chakra to her palm and activating the privacy seal underneath her desk. "This calls for a drink!"

The abrupt change of demeanor, from pensive to business (well, what counted as business-like demeanor for Tsunade), set Naruto even more on edge. Tsunade happily pulled out cups and a bottle from her Shizune-proof hiding spot and poured two glasses.

Tsunade downed the entirety of hers in seconds as Naruto regarded the other cup with suspicion. "Trust me," Tsunade gasped as she pushed Naruto's glass forward and poured herself another. "You're going to want more than that in you to have this conversation."

Naruto grimaced and followed the woman's orders. While age had softened some of Naruto's natural boisterous behavior, she still wasn't one to wait patiently for too long.

"Gah—" Naruto sputtered, after attempting to down the concoction in one go, "That tastes like shit, why do you like this?"

"You don't drink this one for the flavor," Tsunade wryly advised. "You drink it for the effect."

"What effect—oh." Naruto stopped mid-sentence, an odd, floating feeling creeping upon the edge of her senses.

"That one." Tsunade refilled their drinks.

"That's really quick, Kurama usually keeps me from feeling drinks like this," Naruto mumbled. "It's kind of nice."

Tsunade's forehead crinkled in slight concern. "I should probably be worried that the fox realizes you're going to need that for this conversation, but I think I'll just be grateful for his foresight and get on with the most awkward talk that the two of us will probably ever have."

Naruto giggled uncharacteristically, and then halted, mildly horrified, looking at the cup in her hands as if it were to blame for the unusually girly response that she'd just exhibited. "Just how strong is this crap?"

"Strong enough," Tsunade replied with a bland tone, fingernails of one hand tapping erratically on her desk. Taking a deep breath, the older woman set her own glass down. Having developed a tolerance for the drink, it took quite a bit more to steady her nerves. It was probably very fortunate that the Kyūbi was apparently keeping his warden from holding her liquor or they would run out of liquid courage before it was truly needed.

Straightening, Tsunade focused on the task at hand. "Look, Naruto." Tsunade paused to make eye contact, making sure that the girl stopped entertaining thoughts about sneaking some of Tsunade's sacred stash and bribing certain ramen-stand owners into spiking the drinks of distracted unnamed teammates.

Naruto blinked in response to Tsunade's use of her first name. Generally, it meant that Tsunade was attempting to beat something into the girl's abnormally thick skull and she only barely stopped her well-conditioned flinch.

"Naruto," Tsunade continued, "before I tell you about this mission, I want you to understand that you have the right to refuse it. You don't have to accept it, and if you choose not to do so there will be absolutely no consequences, for either you or your career. Do you understand?"

Naruto frowned. "I—yes, but, isn't every mission important to the village?"

"If it wasn't important, it wouldn't be a mission," Tsunade replied, "but the primary objective of this mission doesn't have to be accomplished by you, someone else can do it."

"Then why was I asked?"

"Because," Tsunade admitted with a sigh, "certain parties believe that you are the most …suitable person to accomplish this objective and that your participation will… minimize certain unavoidable outcomes."

"Well then I'll do it—" Naruto was cut off by the smack of a scroll to the face. "Ow!"

"Don't commit to something before you even know what it is, Brat!" Tsunade snapped with a scowl on her face. "Haven't you learned that yet? I swear I ought to drag that perverted teammate of mine from his grave and demand an accounting of what he actually taught you on that 'training trip'…And pick that up," she added as an afterthought, nodding to the scroll now rolling about on the floor.

Naruto sheepishly retrieved it, but the expression soon gave way to curiosity as she considered the item in her hands. "So, what's this then?"

Tsunade watched her potential successor carefully. "You need to understand that this isn't a typical mission. Accepting it will have life-long consequences and will affect every single relationship you have in some form or fashion."

Naruto's hands stilled as blue eyes regarded brown gravely. "Sounds serious."

"Yes," Tsunade nodded, "it is, and it's not something I like to ask of any of my shinobi, but sometimes these missions do come up and, for the most part, they tend to work out in the end."

The older blonde leaned back in her chair. "That being said, this mission wasn't commissioned by your typical client. It's from the elders, most notably Homura and Koharu, who have to have their fingers in every cookie jar in the country, and their request is backed by an evaluation from the Psych Division. It is funded by the village itself."

"Eh?" Naruto was now thoroughly confused and Tsunade allowed herself some minor amusement at the expressive young woman's expense. "What the hell do they want me for?"

"It's not necessarily _you_ they want," Tsunade explained patiently, taking the opportunity to reinforce a political lesson. "Remember, the elders look at the village as a whole, and try to determine what is in its best interests both presently and in the long run. Because of that, they take a special interest in identifying what makes our village strong and what will keep that strength for as long as possible. It's that goal, the desire to make sure that the village continues to be strong, that has the elders occasionally sanction missions like this one. They like to refer to them as 'legacy' missions," Tsunade's lips twitched, "but really, that's just a fancy name trying to hide the fact that at its heart this is a village sanctioned and funded seduction mission."

"Oh," Naruto said, eyes unnaturally wide and voice unnaturally small.

"Unfortunately, it's much more complicated, and lasts longer, than the typical seduction mission. It's not necessary for national security and it's not something we would ever accept from a client, which is why you can refuse it."

Naruto squirmed uneasily in her chair. "What…what makes it complicated?"

"Because seducing the target isn't the primary objective; rather, the main goal is conception," the Hokage said bluntly.

"Excuse me?" Naruto's squeak was met with a dry smile from Tsunade who handed the girl her glass and encouraged her to take another drink.

"The elders want to make sure that certain genetic traits stay alive in Konoha's shinobi population."

Naruto's gaze was distant and Tsunade snapped her fingers impatiently. "Naruto, pay attention."

The girl scowled. "I'm sorry, I'm just having a bit of a panic attack over the fact that your freakin' council is trying to buy my - as of yet - unplanned future offspring."

Tsunade pursed her lips. "This isn't about you having a child. Like I said, you can refuse the mission, it's about…_the_ _target_…siring a child."

Naruto looked at her blankly and Tsunade put a hand to her forehead in aggravation. "Naruto. Think about…think of the Uchiha for a minute."

Instantly on guard, Naruto's entire body froze. "You want me to have the Bastard's baby!," she cried at a volume only Uzumaki women were capable of reaching, making Tsunade quite thankful for the equally unparalleled silencing seals that particular clan had taught the village.

"No! The target isn't the Uchiha, but just…consider him for a moment," the Godaime hissed through clenched teeth. "He's the last of a very powerful bloodline with a dojutsu feared and appreciated by every major power player in our world. In the past, that same dojutsu has been essential in taming out-of-control bijū that have killed thousands. What happens if that boy dies childless?"

Naruto thought for a moment. "No more sharingan?"

"Yes," the older blonde bit out.

"That doesn't seem like that big of a deal…" Naruto offered hesitantly._O__r a bad thing_, she thought privately.

"At first glance, perhaps not," admitted the Hokage, "But think about it on a larger scale. Think about Yamato…we shouldn't have him, his bloodline limit should have died long ago with my ancestors but due to genetic experimentation, which I certainly don't plan on encouraging and I would strongly advise you to adhere to the same policy, he's here. How essential has Yamato been in helping you maintain control when you had difficulties with the fox? What happens if he dies childless and we lose that ability again? What happens if your friends, the Nara and the Yamanaka and the Hyūga become the last of their clans and they die childless?"

"That's not going to happen." Naruto's firm declaration was met with a roll of Tsunade's eyes.

"Think hypothetically with me Naruto, please. It can take centuries for bloodline limits to develop but it took only one night to wipe out almost all of the Uchiha, didn't it? The only reason that didn't happen was because of what many would consider to be misplaced sentiment."

"That wasn't—" Naruto's eyes flashed in anger.

"I know," Tsunade said firmly, "and I pray every day that the same situation doesn't happen on either of our watches. But the fact is that these unique bloodline abilities, whether they are officially classified as bloodline limits or are just genetically inherited propensities for centuries of clan-developed techniques, are invaluable. And they are part of what makes the ninja in our village so strong," Tsunade finished tiredly.

Naruto twiddled her fingers nervously. "What about the seal and Kurama? Isn't childbirth supposed to weaken that?"

"You know that your seal is different from your mother's. Your father designed that thing to avoid the weaknesses inherent in Kushina's seal. Both Minato and Jiraiya were confident that your seal would hold up well no matter the stress on your body. We'll take precautions anyway, but the potential for an incident isn't so high that it should keep you from having children, if you want them." Tsunade stopped and looked to be considering her words for a moment before choosing to continue. "I'll go ahead and tell you that the elders are in favor of you having children sooner rather than later. They'd like to preserve the Uzumaki traits you inherited."

Naruto snorted, "That's just silly…I don't think I got half the cool stuff my Mom could do. I can't even make my hair go all scary like hers."

Tsunade's flat stare put an end to the girl's mutterings. "You inherited longevity, not immortality, brat. One day you won't be the jinchuriki any longer and hopefully we'll be able to transfer the fox…like the situation with Mito-sama and Kushina. It will be easier, and more likely to be successful, if you have direct descendants at the time who have inherited some of your Uzumaki traits."

"Huh, hadn't thought of that." Naruto blinked and Tsunade turned her eyes heavenward, although whether this was in supplication for patience or for her drink to kick in more quickly was up for debate.

The two sat in silence, each lost in their own separate thoughts, until it was broken with a sulky, "_You_don't have any children."

Tsunade graced her with a hard laugh. "That is very much on purpose…and is a private, personal matter."

Naruto looked at the woman in disbelief.

Tsunade glared back, stubbornly refusing to give ground for all of thirty seconds before she diplomatically conceded, "But as this entire conversation is private and personal I'll tell you that once upon a time I very much wanted children. I thought about them and dreamt about what they would be like…" She trailed off, then gathered herself to continue. "But when Dan died, I didn't want them anymore. I couldn't…no child I had then would live up to expectations…I would constantly be comparing…it wouldn't be fair. To anybody. So," she cleared her throat, "I have very purposefully avoided having children much to the dismay of the entire village council. And if you decide to go that route," Tsunade added with a lighter voice, "I will, of course, respect your decision, but you should be aware that even menopause won't stop the village council from getting on your case about propagating your bloodline."

Naruto winced, "That's ok…I think I want kids, someday, that is." She accompanied her words with an awkward shrug. "Did Ero-sennin have kids?"

Tsunade raised an eyebrow, "No, but it wasn't for lack of trying. I'm sure he would have loved children, but as his doctor, and I'm only saying this because the dead don't really care about medical privileges and he probably would have told you himself if you'd asked, he couldn't. There was a mission that went badly, we were fed false information about our opponent and expected different strategies and techniques than what we wound up facing. Jiraiya took a blow that was meant for me actually and…well, I could determine the blade was poisoned, but I couldn't identify the substance and couldn't detect any immediate damage. We weren't in a place that we could stop and analyze what he'd been hit with and by the time we were the damage was irreversible."

Naruto grimaced and inspected her empty cup.

Tsunade rolled her shoulders. "That happens in our line of business, couple those kinds of circumstances with serious battle wounds for kunoichi and the short life expectancy…well, the council tends to get nervous when certain people don't reproduce at a young age. But typically," Tsunade said thoughtfully, "they don't intervene unless someone is at high risk and hits thirty with no signs of slowing down."

Naruto choked. "Thirty? Who the hell do they want me to sleep with?" she asked in a high, breathy squeak.

Tsunade pursed her lips and studied the capable young woman sitting in the chair across her desk. "Normally, I'd ask you to accept or refuse without knowing the identity of the target as this is a fairly private matter. If you refuse we'd like to preserve the mission and offer it to another without potential interference on your part."

Naruto turned a rather interesting shade of purple.

"However," Tsunade continued, leaning forward and gesturing for Naruto's empty cup so that she could refill it. "Considering that you already have a relationship with this person, I believe that it's best for you to know what you might be getting into, before you make a decision that will have permanent consequences for the rest of your life. Don't tell the elders," Tsunade added, although neither of them was sure if that last sentence was said in jest.

"So, whose kid do they want me to have then?" Naruto demanded, before taking a big gulp of liquor in preparation for the announcement.

Konoha's Godaime Hokage leaned back in her chair and intertwined her fingers, the perfect picture of serenity.

"Hatake Kakashi."

This was the first, and only time, Naruto ever actually spewed out a drink on a person in shock.


	3. The Mission, Part 2

Story: Making Arrangements

Rating: M

Author: CrownsofLaurels

Beta: Eurwen

Chapter Two: The Mission pt. II

Summary: Naruto makes a new BFF: Denial.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, I write this for fun and am not paid for it.

* * *

**Chapter Two: The Mission pt. II**

Naruto laughed loudly and felt a telling wetness in the corners of her eyes as she gulped for air, teetering on the edge of what she suspected was a hysterical breakdown. "That's a good one, Granny. You had me going there for a minute."

"Naruto," Tsunade said patiently.

Naruto slapped her knee and jumped from the chair, jumping to address the walls. "You can come out now guys, the joke's on me. It was really funny, totally deserved this as comeuppance for the hell I put all you ANBU through as a kid."

"Naruto," Tsunade repeated not so patiently, eyes narrowing.

"Wow-ee, but that was a laugh," Naruto said, throwing her hands in the air, "who thought of it? Yamato? Kiba? I tip my head to you good sir-Ack!" Naruto's abuse of metaphors was cut off as the Godaime stood, reached over her desk, grabbed a haphazardly bobbing blonde pigtail and yanked the girl back so hard that her head ricocheted off the desk like a rubber ball.

"That was uncalled for!" Naruto whined, returning to her seat and rubbing her injury gently.

"Act your age!" Tsunade barked. "And take another drink."

After complying, Naruto gave a small sniff. "So, no joke then?"

"No joke."

"Arggghhh," Naruto cried, somewhat muffled as she threw herself forward against the desk, head resting in her arms and voice carrying through her jacket. "Buddeezzzzoooolllleeeee," the girl sobbed.

Tsunade watched, unamused. "I'm sorry, I can't understand you. I'm not sure if it's because you're currently trying to smother yourself to death in horror or because you've reverted to the mentality of a three year old from shock."

Naruto peeked out from her shelter with one blue eye, bitterly regarding her attacker. "I said he's so old! He's Sensei! He's like, ancient, Grandma!"

Tsunade tsked, "First: I'm not old enough to be your grandmother," Ignoring the mumbled "liar" she boldly trudged forward. "Second: Kakashi is only fourteen years older than you, making him thirty two. While he's outstripped the life expectancy for his gender and profession, he's far from ancient…and probably still has enough tricks up his sleeves to kick your ass a couple of times if he needs to prove that to you."

Naruto's face took on a sickening shade of green, "Oh please, please, never mention Sensei's ass again now that we've had this conversation."

Tsunade raised an eyebrow, "Why, you don't like it?"

"Oh, God!"

"I mean, I'm more of an abs-woman myself, but I can appreciate a fine specimen—"

"Stop! Just stop, crap, whatever you want Godaime-hime-sama, Supreme Ruler of All, I'll give it to you, just stop scarring my brain….oh the pain!" Naruto wailed and Tsunade relented, but not without snickering.

After giving the younger woman a few moments to compose herself, Tsunade broached the subject again. "In all seriousness, Naruto, what are your thoughts on this? The elders are dead set on having this mission begin within the month…these things take time and can be a trial and error process and time may not be something Kakashi has to give. He tends to put himself in increasingly dangerous situations. He was actually better about self-preservation once he left ANBU and took on you kids, but you've all advanced to chūnin now and won't be taking many missions with your genin teammates anymore."

Naruto gazed at her uncomprehendingly.

Tsunade sighed and set down her cup. "Chūnin tend to work with other chūnin, they don't take missions with jōnin very often because they don't need the supervision. We work hard so that we can spare jōnin to supervise genin on their missions but we can't afford to do that with chūnin. That doesn't stop you from training with your team, which I know you've been doing, but surely you've noticed the lack of missions you've been sent out on with your old teammates."

Naruto kept her eyes on the floor. "I just thought that…you know, because of Sasuke's probationary status…I thought that kept him from the missions. And Sakura's needed at the hospital and we're short on ninja so I know that Sensei's been needed for solo missions…I just thought it was a temporary thing because of the hit our manpower took in the last war."

Tsunade frowned. "You've just misinterpreted the temporary part. We _are_ low on manpower, and we need to build up the ranks again. But all countries do…because of this, every country is in danger of being overworked right now. So yes, Sakura's medical expertise is often needed at the hospital and Sasuke's probation terms keep him from many of the missions you're sent on and Kakashi, as one of our most experienced jōnin, is in high demand. However, this isn't a temporary thing Naruto, it's a natural progression. Think forward a few years: you will have specialized and will probably be tapped to lead a genin squad. As the only better doctor in the village is me, Sakura's skills will be best used by being at the hospital and occasionally taking missions requiring a highly capable field medic…which you don't need. You have your own healing abilities and a genin squad won't require someone of Sakura's level on their missions. The Uchiha will be off probation, _maybe_, and will most likely apply for ANBU. If he's not there…I won't ever trust him with a genin squad. Maybe he'll retire and try to tackle politics as a clan head or try to reform the military police. At the least he'll be taking missions like those Kakashi takes, which tend to be solo assignments. You won't see him."

"I don't understand what any of this has to do with causing Sensei to take more dangerous missions," Naruto bit out, shoulders set, the stubborn line of her jaw highlighting the offense she took to Tsunade's words.

"I'm not the villain here Naruto." Tsunade frowned at the young blonde. "This is just part of growing up. It's a good thing that all three of Hatake's students are alive and capable of holding their own in their areas of specialization. Everyone on Team Seven has done their jobs well, and now you are all doing what you can to protect the village and make it stronger, to make it a safer and better world for those that follow you."

Naruto's posture softened slightly in acknowledgment of Tsunade's words.

"However, it is no hidden secret that Hatake isn't as mentally stable—" the Hokage raised a hand to stop Naruto's protesting voice. "He's not as sound as I'd like him to be. He's lived a hard life. Oh yes, he meets Psych Division's standards for fitness for active duty, but the last few years haven't passed without consequences."

Naruto seemed bewildered. "He seems happy enough to me…he's still reading those damn perverted books all the time and showing up late to everything."

"Naruto," Tsunade said in exasperation, "look _underneath the underneath._ This is a man whose mother died giving birth to him, who found his father's body after said father committed suicide, who lost his second set of parental figures and all his teammates before he finished puberty. Frankly, I'm shocked he lived through ANBU. I've read his records, so has Psych Division—the kid had a death wish back then. He didn't stop taking high-risk missions until he accepted a genin squad—you. From that point on he turned down potentially life-threatening solo missions. He went out on some solo missions yes, but he only started taking high-risk missions about five months ago."

"What, why?" Naruto blurted out.

"_Think_, Naruto," Tsunade said, rolling her eyes, "What happened five months ago?"

Naruto bit her lip. "Sasuke-bastard and I passed the chūnin exams?"

"Yes." The Hokage waved a finger at her companion. "You, and the Uchiha, and Sakura…all his students were finally chūnin. He wasn't needed to supervise a genin team anymore."

"That's not fair," muttered Naruto. "It doesn't mean we don't need him."

"Well, then maybe you need to find a way to make him realize that…regardless of whether you accept this mission or not."

"So," began Naruto, "Kaka-Sensei recently started taking super dangerous missions and now that the war's been over for a while and the rebuilding efforts are almost completed, the elders are thinking about ways to brace our limited manpower…and somehow that got them thinking about who was at risk for dying without an heir?"

"Very good, now that I know that you get it, tell me what you _think_ about it." The Hokage rocked back and folded her arms, scrutinizing the young woman's face carefully as she pondered a response.

"I dunno," Naruto pulled absently on a pig tail, worrying the end of the strands between her fingers. "I never thought…it's my _sensei_, you know? What would you have done if they'd asked you to sleep with your sensei?"

"I would have refused." Tsunade answered promptly. "But my situation was much different from yours. At your age, I was in a fairly serious relationship with a man I loved and my sensei was very much happily married with a sickeningly adorable snot-nosed brat and plans for more."

"Ahhh…." Naruto voice was frustrated and she grabbed her knees with her hands. "What happens if I say no?" she asked weakly.

"To you? Absolutely nothing. I told you earlier that you have the right to refuse this mission and that if you do so there will be no negative consequences for your career."

Naruto's eyes reflected an unusual (and most likely temporary) maturity. "But the mission doesn't end, does it? You'll ask someone else to do it?"

Tsunade inclined her head. "The elders will, yes."

Naruto cast her gaze toward the floor, taking on what Tsunade had come to label as her 'thinking' posture. Eventually, she spoke. "You said earlier that I was being asked because someone thought I was the best person for the job…and that maybe if I took the job, certain things wouldn't happen. Could you tell me more about that?"

Tsunade smiled, "Always good to hear proof that head of yours has more than wool in it." Ignoring the responsive huff, the older blonde continued. "When the elders decide that a legacy mission is in order, they turn the target's name over to the Psych Division. The elders don't actually determine who they ask to accomplish the mission. In fact, the Psych Division and the Hokage are the only ones who have access to the mission file…which will never be recorded and will be destroyed upon completion. All the information that the elders will receive regarding the mission are basic status updates: that it has been accepted, is ongoing, encountering setbacks, completed, and so on."

"Why all the secrecy?" Naruto asked with interest.

"These are people's families, Naruto. How the mission is carried out is left up to the person who agrees to take it. It is not uncommon for the mission to be carried out by someone who is already close to the target. Nor is it uncommon for this type of mission to conclude in a marriage, or a serious long-term relationship. It creates unnecessary drama to leave records around indicating that someone's child was conceived as the result of village interference."

"I want to know how that works exactly, with the kid and all…but first, why does Psych think I'm the best for this?" Naruto, who normally had the attention span shorter than an Inuzuka puppy's, refused to be distracted.

"Psych thinks," Tsunade drawled, "that, quite frankly, this mission isn't going to be successful."

Naruto's eyes bulged. "Then why in the names of the nine bijū are you asking me to do this?"

The Sannin laughed. "Considering all the variables, Psych thinks that if anyone has a chance at making this work, it's you. Kakashi, despite his public devotion to porn, has, for all appearances, been in a committed relationship with his books and his hands for the past decade or so."

Naruto's face scrunched in distaste, more likely at hearing her sensei's sex life described at all than for the acts described.

Tsunade waved a hand amiably. "We have nothing on Hatake ever having a romantic attachment. I don't have a single mission report from him where he noted that he had to do so much as kiss a serving girl for information. The only time he ever set foot in a brothel was with his sensei to retrieve my teammate's sorry ass. If he didn't read those books, Psych wouldn't even know that he was interested in women. Hell," Tsunade shrugged a shoulder, "for all I know, he's overcompensating for the fact that he likes men and no one ever taught him how to deal with it."

Naruto choked and flailed a bit. "How am I supposed to be any help then?"

"Psych evaluated his known connections for levels of attachment." Tsunade held up two fingers. "Of those, the highest are you and Sakura."

"Can't you give it to her, she'd probably be so much better at this type of thing…I mean, she's practically a closet pervert herself, have you seen those girly magazines she and Ino read and how they talk about men—"

Tsunade cut off Naruto's increasingly hysterical blather. "Sakura can't be considered."

"Why not?" Naruto shrieked.

"Because Sakura is already, at least Psych considers her to be, in a relationship with Uchiha. Yes, shut up, I know they say they aren't together, but Psych doesn't take words at face value and from their interviews and observations they've concluded that because of Uchiha's trust issues and Sakura's own feelings, it's most likely that if Sasuke ever settles down it will be with her." Tsunade paused, and then added, "Or you-"

"No!" Naruto said quickly, with unexpected force. "I couldn't—not after…" Naruto's vision was clouded with red eyes, lightning tearing apart her chest and making it hard to breathe…the memory of running, and searching, and wanting only to be abandoned again…. "I could never trust him for that," she finished with a raspy voice, leaning forward to fill her glass on her own and gulping down the mess without wincing.

"Yes," Tsunade said, face emotionless, "Psych thought so too. It's very likely that if the Uchiha and Sakura don't come together naturally within a few years that Sakura will find herself having a similar conversation with me. Or perhaps," Tsunade added with a dry smile, "if I'm lucky, you'll be having that conversation with Sakura by that time."

Naruto grimaced. "That's not funny."

"No," Tsunade agreed. "But that's life." Tsunade took another drink and sighed. "Anyway, since Sakura is…spoken for, in a sense, you are Kakashi's most important female relationship, congratulations."

"But why me and not some stranger?"

Tsunade looked at the girl incredulously. "You don't know what your sensei's _face_ looks like and you've known the man for over five years. You think that he's going to let some strange woman close enough for sex?"

"Oh. Good point."

"Besides," Tsunade huffed, "Psych thinks that you and Hatake have an acceptable potential compatibility as long-term partners—don't ask, I don't know what the hell they mean. And they think that Kakashi is more likely to indulge and open up to you emotionally." Tsunade blinked and regarded the girl she fondly, privately thought of as a sister as seriously as she could with her current level of inebriation. "Good luck with that."

"So, how do they expect me to do this? Am I supposed to get him drunk? Is this supposed to be a one night stand or do they want me to marry the guy?" Naruto pulled her knees to her chest and twitched anxiously.

Tsunade just shrugged. "It's completely up to you about how to approach this and how long or short term you want this thing to be. You're not even required to raise the child or tell Hatake that it's his, and if you wanted to you could place it for adoption."

Naruto stilled. "I wouldn't do that."

Tsunade's lips twitched gently, fighting a smile, as she softly said, "I didn't think you would. But I have to inform you that it's an option."

Naruto rubbed at her eyes. The pair had been talking for almost an hour and the emotional toll of the conversation was severe. "So, I'm just supposed to come up with this by myself? Do this all on my own? Raise this kid on my own?"

"You don't have to." Tsunade slapped a palm on the desk to gain attention. "Look at me, Naruto. You don't have to accept this mission. And if you do, you won't be entirely on your own. You'll have some support. First, this is a mission and it does come with a certain pay and benefits."

Naruto blanched slightly, but Tsunade raised a hand to caution her from speaking. "Hear me out, Naruto. It's true that some women refuse to accept payment for this type of mission. But regardless of whether or not you accept the 'official' payment, know that all of your medical bills related to the mission will be covered by the Village, not just the 60% that are usually covered for regular mission related hospital fees."

Naruto nodded weakly.

Tsunade frowned, but continued. "Also, I would recommend accepting the payment if you take the mission. Consider it a trust fund for your child and use it to buy baby supplies…those little things are awfully expensive."

Naruto scrunched her face but didn't comment on the money issue, instead asking, "Can I talk to others about this? Get some opinions?"

Tsunade's gaze was compassionate but her answer was a firm no. "You can't talk to others about the 'mission,' but you can talk to them about relationships you are in, events you experience, your physical condition and who is responsible for that condition." Tsunade worded her response carefully and Naruto absently noted that she'd probably have to check in again with Tsunade about what she could and couldn't talk about if she decided to go through with this.

"However," Tsunade hesitated, then grimaced and continued. "If you decide to accept this mission, you'll be assigned a 'mentor' of sorts. That woman will have accepted a similar mission and successfully completed it. You will be able to fully share all aspects of the mission with this woman and she will be willing to advise you and offer emotional support."

Naruto looked hopefully at the Hokage. "Can I talk with her now?"

"No," said Tsunade regretfully, "For the security reasons I mentioned earlier, the policy is not to disclose this mentor unless you have accepted the mission. You have to decide whether to accept or reject this mission based entirely on your own thoughts and desires."

Naruto bowed her head.

"I can give you a day or two to think on it," the older blonde said gently, "this decision doesn't have to be made immediately."

Naruto nodded, thoughts clearly elsewhere. Hesitantly she asked, "What happens…if this ends badly?"

Tsunade straightened and settled back in her chair. "Let's think about it for a moment. If you agree to this, you could attempt to seduce Kakashi and nothing could happen. Maybe he's asexual…maybe he's into men…maybe he's completely oblivious and can only think of you as an adorable child and sees himself as a doting father."

"Oh crap." Naruto cradled head in her hands.

Tsunade scoffed, "Psych thinks that is highly unlikely, by the way. If they thought he saw you in a paternal light they wouldn't have recommended this strategy…you're an emotional pillar for Kakashi, they don't want to cost him that."

Naruto flinched and waved at the woman to continue.

Tsunade rolled her eyes. "So, you try to sleep with your sensei and nothing happens…you might have a few awkward memories but other than that you've not rocked the status quo. Possibility Two: You sleep with your sensei once or twice, however many times, but you don't conceive. Results: Kakashi has a freak-out, which you can probably work through, or you develop a long-term relationship which lasts for however long you both like and I imagine it'll be fulfilling enough even without children. Possibility Three: He knocks you up. It depends on you, then, and whether or not you tell him about the child, decide to keep the child, or how involved you let him be in the child's life."

Naruto looked at her miserably. "What if he hates me forever?"

Tsunade gently chided the girl. "That man loves you…and he loves this village too. Even if he finds out you seduced him on orders, even if you ditch him the moment you get pregnant and let the kid be adopted by the Kazekage, he wouldn't _hate _you. He might be a bit miffed, but Hatake is an intelligent and mostly rational man…he'll hear you out and respect your decisions as a kunoichi of the village."

Naruto gave a weak laugh. "Oh hell no, can you imagine how traumatized that kid would be with Kankuro as an Uncle? Those puppets are freaky." She sniffed, "That kid would have complexes within complexes before he could hold a kunai."

"Well we can't have that, can we?" Tsunade stood and stretched. "Take a few days and think about it. I have a meeting with the military police and I—"

"No." Naruto shook her head. She took a shaky breath and rose from her seat. "I already know my answer."

"Brat," Tsunade scowled, hands planted aggressively on her hips, "What did I say about rushing into things?"

"I'm not." Naruto's voice gained confidence. "I mean, we've been talking about this for ages, at _least _an hour, and I can't talk to anybody else about it, I've already thought through everything I can think about it."

"Well, that's reassuring," mumbled Tsunade.

Naruto flicked antsy blue eyes at the woman. "I mean, I know it's not an ideal situation, you know. But like you said, it's not like I've got other plans—"

"I never said that—"

"You implied it."

"What country were you in for the past hour?"

"Granny! It's like, Psych thinks I'm the best for this right? That it was either me or Sakura. But, you said the mission would still go on even if I turned it down. So who else is being considered then?"

The two fierce women locked eyes in a brief battle of wills before Tsunade reluctantly admitted, "There are some other women who are being considered, but Psych thinks that the best approach in this situation is to use someone who Hatake is already emotionally invested in…the others are acquaintances at best and Psych worries about introducing them to the man in such a manner."

"Right," Naruto stated. "So, it's either let me have a go at it and even see if Sensei can be seduced or let some other strange girls try to squirm their way into his heart on _orders_ as a _mission_ and cross my fingers and hope for the best, right?"

"Well," Tsunade said wryly, "when you put it that way…"

"Put it _this _way, Hokage-sama," Naruto said with conviction, swiping the scroll batted around throughout the conversation from the older woman's desk. "People who abandon the mission are trash, but people who abandon their teammates are worse than trash. I'm not going to abandon Sensei to this crazy scheme or let other people try to play him and mess him up and then have control over his kid. I'll do this myself and try to do the least amount of damage I can, since those smelly old geezers say it must be done."

With that declaration off her chest, the girl marched out of the room. The Hokage rolled her eyes and returned to her desk, tearing off a corner of a document awaiting her signature, carefully writing on the small slip of paper. By the time she blew the ink dry, Naruto had sheepishly returned to the room.

"Can I know who my mentor is supposed to be now?"

Tsunade held out the scrap of paper with an admonishing gaze. "This is her address, she knows to expect a girl, but she doesn't know who she is expecting or who the target is. You can tell her as much or as little about the mission as you like. Don't visit too late, she's got a kid."

Naruto mumbled her thanks and nodded, slinking out of the room and brushing shoulders with Shizune as she made a less dramatic exit.

Shizune, Ton-ton trotting behind her, approached her mentor curiously. "What was that all about?"

"Classified. She accepted a mission." The Hokage sighed and downed the last of her cup before Shizune could realize what was in it. "I bet you she completes it successfully and that in five years there will be absolute hell to pay because of it."

Shizune sniffed. "Ha. I'll take that bet and if you lose, you have to hand over every bottle you have of this brand." She took the empty liquor bottle from the desk and waved it reproachfully in her mentors face. "You told me you got rid of all this! I specifically remember a promise not to bring this particular brand in for meetings."

"Don't take me up on a bet!" Tsunade hissed. "Now look what you've done," she said with a grumble, miserably regarding the paperwork that Shizune had added to her desk upon returning to the office. "I don't know which is worse, the consoling I'll have to do if she fails or the chaos that could happen if she succeeds."


	4. Frienemies

Story: Making Arrangments

Rating: M

Author: CrownsofLaurels

Beta: Eurwen de Vrill

Chapter Three: Frienemies

Summary: Naruto breaks her nose, drinks twenty seven different kinds of alcohol, and gets Kyūbi's blessing…sort of.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, I write this for fun and receive no profit.

* * *

**Chapter Three: Frienemies**

_THWACK_.

Naruto groaned and stumbled backward, tripping over some dropped weaponry and falling roughly on her butt in the mud. Her hands instinctively flew to her face as she gingerly touched her nose. Tears of pain gathered in the corners of her eyes as she confirmed that it was broken.

"Naruto!" A voice called out in concern and Naruto focused just long enough to make out the blurry image of a pink-haired female leaning over her. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

Naruto closed her eyes. "Twelve."

"She'll be fine," huffed Sakura, leaning forward with glowing green hands to assess the damage.

Naruto clenched her hand around a discarded kunai and dug it into the ground as Sakura, without warning, set her nose. _At least I didn't cry_. Naruto blinked rapidly, trying to make good on that thought as Sakura began to heal the broken blood vessels in her face and soothe out the blood that would normally cause bruising.

When her vision cleared and the several hazy versions of Sakura solidified into one, Naruto relocated her attacker standing a dozen feet away, arms crossed and scowling, katana stuck in the ground by his side. The grim young man didn't look the least bit sorry that his roundhouse kick had almost shattered his teammate's face.

"What's wrong with you, Loser?" Sasuke eyed the sprawled blonde with contempt, sounding personally offended. "You've been off all day."

"Good as new." Sakura announced, rocking back on her heels. "With Kurama's help, by suppertime you won't even feel sore." She sighed. "So unfair."

Naruto forlornly tore at the forest floor with her kunai. "I just have a lot on my mind today. Sorry, I probably should have passed on sparring."

"Moron." Sasuke sheathed his katana and turned away. "Come find me when your brain is working again…or, rather, since I've never actually known it to work in the first place, come find me when you can put one foot in front of another without eating dirt." He stalked off, clearly dismissing the situation as beneath his concern.

"Jackass!" Naruto yelled at his retreating back, watching him disappear, presumably heading for another training ground and partners capable of combating basic taijutsu. Naruto collapsed flat onto her back with a sigh, looking for glimpses of the sunset through the dense green canopy overhead.

Sakura watched their teammate leave with a stony expression. It had been a long time since she'd rushed to Sasuke's defense at Naruto's name-calling. At the moment, she was still struggling with the urge to chase after the boy, but now the urge was to chase after him and scold him for his poor treatment of a friend rather than an attempt to capture his affection. She pushed thoughts of Sasuke away with practiced determination and sat down cross-legged next to the sprawling blonde.

"Must really be something to distract you mid-spar." The medic-nin watched her companion's unusually pensive face carefully for anything that might shed light on the girl's troubles.

Naruto just shrugged slightly, as best she could when lying flat against the ground. "I've just got a lot on my mind. I'll deal with it, I just need some time to wrap my head around it all."

Naruto normally enjoyed the afternoon sparring sessions with her teammates. Tsunade had been right when she had noted that the trio tried to spend every afternoon possible training together. It was more of an unspoken tradition that whenever anyone was free for an afternoon they headed to Training Ground Three and sparred with whoever they met. These days, when Naruto came, it was more likely than not that the forest and field would be empty. It made it all the more special when the three of them actually were able to meet, which was why Naruto hadn't begged off sparring for the afternoon.

Sakura relaxed in the quiet for a few moments, listening to the birds beginning to chirp again now that the ninja had halted their unpredictable and violent movements. "Did you get a mission?"

Naruto grimaced, pulling herself up so that she was sitting next to the girl. "I can't talk about it," she answered honestly. Naruto knew herself well enough to acknowledge that she wasn't a good liar and it would be better to let Sakura know that the information was classified than to arouse the girl's curiosity with lies or pathetic attempts to change the subject. Sakura could respect "classified," but if she thought that Naruto was lying to her then any investigation into the cause was fair game, including raiding Tsunade's desk in a moment of distraction. They were ninja after all, information meant power and survival.

Sakura sighed, slightly disappointed. "Anything I can do to help?" She didn't truly expect an answer. When her teammate got into a funk like this, typically the only thing that could solve it was Naruto personally working through her feelings on the issue. A few days of gloominess, which would put all the girl's friends on edge, and Naruto would pop back to her bright, buoyant self.

Surprisingly, Naruto stopped herself in the midst of shaking her head. "Actually," said the blonde seriously, "I think I should try to get drunk."

Sakura's green eyes widened. Then she stood and held out her hands to pull her companion to her feet. "I think I can manage that," she laughed.

* * *

"You're like a camel," Sakura ground out, eyeing the blonde next to her with an envious look at odds with her previous comment. "Where does it all go? How do you not have to pee like crazy?"

Naruto finished off her twenty-third glass of the evening, dismayed to discover that Kurama either wasn't as attentive as he had been earlier that morning, or was purposefully being contrary and vindictive. Although, come to think about it, perhaps she hadn't been feeling tipsy this morning so much as an unbalancing mix of incredulous and horrified.

Ino laughed loudly, an odd flush to her cheeks as she sat across from the pair, sitting casually next to a visibly uncomfortable Hinata. "I think she's my new hero," she crowed, "just think of how much money we could make if we got people to challenge her to a drinking contest."

"Ummm….maybe we should stop," the dark haired heiress mumbled as Ino called out for another round of drinks.

"No way." The ringleader tossed her blonde ponytail over her shoulder. "We haven't even figured out what's wrong with the girl yet."

"The _girl_ is right here, Ino, and nothing is wrong." Naruto's exasperated response slid off Ino's shoulders like oil meeting water.

"Pfffshhh," scoffed Ino. "If nothing was wrong, we wouldn't be here. Girls' Nights aren't successful unless you come away with at least _some_ juicy tidbit and my experienced gossip-sniffing nose says that you, my dear, are more valuable than dirt on the Daimyo tonight."

"Ino," scolded Sakura, "If she doesn't want to talk—"

The Yamanaka leaned across the table and locked eyes with Naruto. "It's a boy, isn't it?"

Naruto's blush and subsequent stuttering denial did nothing to deter the determined girl.

"I knew I was right!" Ino slumped back to her chair victoriously and Hinata regarded the jinchūriki curiously.

Sakura stopped mid eye-roll and turned to face her teammate. "There's a boy?" Sakura frowned. "Why didn't you tell me there was a boy?"

"There is no boy!"

"Liar!" cried Ino. "You're redder than Hinata when Kiba flirts with her in public!"

"Am not," retorted Naruto, face burning. "There's not a boy!" She turned to Sakura pleadingly, "There's not a boy, Sakura-chan."

Sakura hmmed thoughtfully, but didn't look like she believed her teammate's refutations.

"Oh," Ino chuckled darkly, "there is definitely a boy. Now who is he? Come, come now, 'fess up. Auntie Ino will tell you exactly what to do to satisfy your crush."

Naruto blushed even more and Hinata, sympathetic to Ino's newest prey, began to encourage the others to cease the inquisition, but to no avail.

Sakura drummed her fingers anxiously on the table top. "It's not Sasuke is it?" The girl's tone was filled with dread.

"No!" exclaimed Naruto, struggling to refrain from choking on her drink. "It is definitely, definitely, not the Bastard."

Sakura's shoulders relaxed in relief. "Good. I mean, not that I still like him that way, but I don't think that you'd be good for one another."

"Right," drawled Ino.

"No, really," Sakura said defensively, "I just don't think he's in a good place right now…he needs some more time to get his head on his shoulders right before he tries to be emotionally involved with someone."

"Hmm….since Daddy is violently opposed to the idea of me canoodling with Village traitors, I'll have to trust your word on that one." The haughty blonde fixed her gaze on Naruto. "But adorable pet names aside, Miss Unpredictable Kunoichi here isn't lying when she says her crush isn't the guy with, indisputably, the nicest abs in the Konoha." Ino tapped a manicured fingernail against her chin and eyed her target with an intelligent, speculative gaze. "So then, let's play a game."

Naruto braced herself. Shikamaru might be the smartest of her peers in strategy, but no one their age could best Ino's abilities in psychology. Ino would know the source of Naruto's anxiety regardless of the newest chūnin's verbal response. She was like a living lie detector. _Maybe this wasn't the best idea_, thought Naruto nervously. Hinata bit her lip but was apparently curious enough not to protest the turn of events and Sakura, satisfied that Sasuke was out of the running, seemed content to lean back and watch Ino work.

"Sai?" asked the intelligence specialist.

Naruto's face wrinkled in distaste.

"Kiba?"

Hinata shrunk a little, but relaxed when Ino rapidly continued, "No, it's not him."

Ino began to count on her fingers as she listed names. "Shino? Chouji? Oh, please not Shikamaru…no, good? Lee? You're not cradle-robbing are you, I know he's vocal but Konohamaru is still a bit too young for you for at least two more years."

"No!" sputtered Naruto indignantly. Sakura directed a flat look at her best friend/rival/thing.

"What?" shrugged Ino. "He shows promise, give him two more years and you'll be reconsidering that opinion when he grows into Asuma-sensei's shoulders." Hinata's blush was ignored by Ino, who bit her lip in concentration until an odd look crossed her face.

"It's not Iruka-sensei, it it?"

"Ino!"

"No, not him then." Ino defended herself, "Had to check, sometimes sibling relationships evolve into other things if there is no biological connection."

Naruto downed another drink and desperately wished Kurama would stop intervening with her biological processes.

"Someone outside the village then? You know as much as the Kazekage adores you, long distance relationships like that are a pill…" Ino trailed off, intently studying Naruto's face for hints.

"No," she finally said with finality. "It's definitely someone in the village and it's someone we know or you wouldn't be so guarded about it all."

Sakura finally decided to give the pig-tailed blonde a break. "There _are_ people in this village that you don't know Ino. And there are plenty of ninja our own age who we don't regularly interact with, she could just be nervous about the possibility of us knowing the guy."

Ino's pout temporarily fled as an idea hit her. "Is it a girl?" She settled back down into a sulk at Naruto's subsequent flail of arms. "No, it's a guy, I knew I couldn't have read you wrong on that one…" Ino trailed off, wracking her brain for ideas about the identity of Naruto's supposed love interest.

Sakura stood with a sigh. "I'm going home. I'll be in surgery in the morning and I need to be well-rested."

Hinata rose. "I, too, need to return to my house at a reasonable hour." She bowed slightly to the group. "Thank you for a pleasant evening." She blushed slightly as she rose. "It is nice to be able to spend time with friends." She headed for the door, where an unfamiliar Hyūga rose from his stool to accompany her out into the night.

"That girl…" Ino shook her head as she rose, pulling some money out of her purse and contributing to the pile in the center of the table already started by the other three girls.

Sakura gave a grunt of agreement. "Come on Naruto, I'll walk you home." She grabbed Naruto's hand and tugged her sharply out of the booth. She ignored the girl's protests and pulled her outside. "See you tomorrow, Ino-pig!"

Once they'd left the restaurant, Sakura released her teammate and they walked companionably down the relatively empty, moon-lit roads of the village.

Naruto rubbed her wrist. "I can walk home by myself, you know."

Sakura snorted. "Forgive me if I don't test that theory after watching you imbibe twenty-seven glasses of different alcoholic beverages over the past two hours."

"I was testing a hypothesis," Naruto said with a grin.

"And the results?"

"Classified."

"Right." Sakura shook her head and playfully pushed her companion. "Next time you feel like testing the same hypothesis, let me know. Ino was right about one thing, we can make a killing if we play our cards right in a bar and start a drinking contest."

Sakura stopped as they reached Naruto's apartment. It wasn't that far from Sakura's residence and only required that she go a few blocks out of her way. Sakura didn't mind at all, especially considering the mood that Naruto had been in that day. "Will you be alright?"

"Yeah." Naruto flashed her friend a reassuring smile. "Really, Sakura-chan, don't worry about me, I'll be right as rain in a day or so."

"You know you can talk to me—"

"I do," said Naruto soberly. "And I will when I can, promise of a lifetime."

Sakura's lips twitched at the familiar phrase. "Fine, then. Sleep well, Naru-chan."

* * *

Naruto spent all night staring at the ceiling of her apartment, stomach churning with unresolved fear and tension. _What have I gotten myself into?_

She looked at the clock: 2 A.M. She rolled over and fluffed her pillow. "It's too hot," she mumbled, kicking off her blankets and stumbling over to crack open the window. She pushed her head against the cool window pane, looking out at the dark, sleepy houses. Stretching her senses, she could feel the light glow of chakra as a few ninja patrolled the village from the rooftops; she knew every single one and found their attention reassuring, but it didn't offer her enough comfort to get some sleep tonight.

She took a deep breath and returned to bed, but instead of climbing under the covers she sat atop them. She settled herself down to meditate and closed her eyes. Forcing herself to relax, she measured her breathing and reached for the familiar presence of her bijū.

_What do you think of this whole mess, Kurama?_

She didn't receive an answer at first, but she felt movement within her, almost like a large cat unfurling itself after a long nap in its favorite patch of sunshine.

_I was sleeping, Brat._ The voice was deeper than any sound that a human could produce and she felt it echo in her bones despite the fact that it existed only in her mind.

_I thought that if I couldn't sleep I could at least share the gift of my insomnia. _

Kurama took his time responding. Naruto imagined him licking his claws. (Not that she would ever admit that to him, he _hated_ being compared to a cat…those _inferior_ upstarts).

_The only reason you won't be waking up feeling like the drums of war are sounding in your head tomorrow is because of my intervention. I would be more grateful, if I were you._

_I'm groveling at your feet, Oh Great One._

_As well you should, it__'__s only right. _Kyūbi sniffed and settled himself as if he was a king lounging on his throne, hearing the mundane complaints of his subjects.

Naruto barely stopped herself from laughing, but sobered quickly when she remembered why she had reached out to her old companion.

_I care not_, said the fox, unprompted, _for your ordinary, boring affairs._ _Mate with the male, spread your legs and have so many kits that they eat you out of den and forest. It matters not to me._

_Gee, that was polite._ Sarcasm bled into her thoughts but did little to rile the Kyūbi. _Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the cage today._

_May all your spawn have nine tails from birth._

Naruto was fairly certain that was some type of curse in fox-speech, but as she didn't understand it she shrugged it off and prodded the reluctant creature to participate in the conversation.

_I know you pay more attention to my surroundings than you let on,_ she began carefully, _and I know that you have more experience observing human relationships than any human can claim to have themselves._ A little bit of flattery never hurt when dealing with an ornery bijū. _Can I…will this work?_

For a long time, there was silence and Naruto resigned herself to the fact that Kurama wouldn't be weighing in anymore on this issue. Technically, he'd given her his blessing to go forth and multiply, as it were. She was just going to have to be content with the comments that he'd shared.

_That particular talking monkey is better than he believes himself to be_, Kurama's words rang forth reluctantly. _He will be a fine mate. He will give you strong kits, and he will ensure that they are protected and provided for until they leave your den._

It was comments like these that reminded Naruto just how different Kurama's perspective on life was from her own. The bijū was a chakra monster, but had been given the form of a fox and still tended to approach life as a fox might on most occasions. Naruto restructured her question. _Yes, but will he even want to be my mate?_

The response was given with a mixture of surprise and arrogance. _Why would he refuse? There is no talking monkey stronger than you and the pair of you are young and healthy. Your kits will be powerful. He should be honored that I would consider allowing you to invite him to your den. His choice of company leaves much to be desired _(Naruto could only assume that he was referring to Kakashi's dogs), _but no talking monkey can be perfect._

Naruto could feel the Kyūbi pondering the issue a bit more, trying to understand the source of Naruto's anxiety. Eventually, the fox settled for offering, _If he refuses, I can eat him._

_You can't eat him, Kurama. _Naruto could feel the Kyūbi's disagreement with her words, but the chakra creature held his tongue rather than restart an old and frequent argument. _I suppose I should thank you for your blessing—_

_Blessing? You have my reluctantly won tolerance for the situation, don't fool yourself__,__ mortal. _Kyūbi began to curl himself up within the seal, settling in for a deep sleep. _And mind you, one of those kits better be taught to treat me properly, I won't give up my current way of living just because my next jailer is a bit skittish with my company._

Naruto half-heartedly listened to the fox's irritated mumblings about preparing the next jinchūrikki. She didn't really want to deal with that at the moment. She dropped back to the bed with a groan and resolved to count ceiling cracks until dawn.

* * *

At a reasonable hour the next morning, Naruto donned some rarely used civilian attire (orange shirt, loose pants and sandals). She wasn't sure who she was going to see and she didn't want to come across as too intimidating. Running a barely bristled brush that had seen better days through her hair, she tied the messy locks up with familiar movements and strapped a small shuriken pouch to her thigh. She bounced out the door, whistling cheerfully as she headed for a more upscale part of the village.

She had memorized the address, as well as the sparse contents of the scroll (which really boiled down to seduce Hatake, have his kid, we'll pay you well) and then promptly destroyed both as instructed.

She knew of the apartment complex she was headed for but had never been there personally. It was a nicer area of the village that ninja didn't tend to occupy. It had quaint civilian homes and apartments with balconies that held carefully tended potted plants. Everything about the area was non-threatening and friendly with civilians loudly holding market stalls in the streets and bustling about in dense shopping crowds. Shinobi tended to like living in more secluded areas with fewer civilians in which they could set up personal protections. Apartments in sections of the village like this tended to frown on such practices. Naruto's landlord, on the other hand, just rolled his eyes and told her that when she moved out she'd be paying for every hole she put in the wall and every kunai gouge in the floor.

Naruto arrived at the complex and ignored the curious glances of the civilians, feeling a bit self-conscious and out-of-place as she walked up the stairs, carefully tiled with bright colors and complex pretty patterns. _At least nobody looks at me like they hate me anymore._

On the fourth and top floor, she veered down a hallway and stopped in front of the unassuming door of the last corner unit. Taking a deep breath, she pushed her shoulders back and knocked, two quick, three slow, a pattern only used by the ninja of Konoha when knocking on the doors of someone who might not recognize their chakra signature. It was an act of courtesy and really didn't do anything for safety, as it would be simple enough for a spy to pick up, but Sakura had told her that it was a polite tradition and to just shut up and do the knock because, really, did it cost Naruto anything to just follow custom for five seconds?

A light voice called for her to wait a moment and Naruto fidgeted nervously on the doorstep. She was rocking back and forth on her heels and contemplating coming back later when she heard some latches click and she stepped back in shock as the green wooden door opened, revealing a pretty woman with dark hair and striking eyes.

"Kurenai-sensei?" Naruto squeaked.


	5. Tea Time

Story: Making Arrangements

Rating: M

Author: CrownsofLaurels

Beta(s): Eurwen de Vrill and CrystallineX

Chapter Four: Tea Time

Summary: Naruto and Kurenai have a nice chat and Naruto sells out the Hokage, who stole the last sandwich. It was a big deal. Believe it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, I write this for fun and am not paid for it.

* * *

**Chapter Four: Tea Time**

Kurenai blinked her deep red eyes in surprise. "Naruto-san, can I help you with something?" The awkward tension was broken by a loud crash coming from the apartment.

"We're okay!" Yelled a familiar, energetic voice.

Kurenai closed her eyes, and held up a hand, obviously suppressing an impulse to turn around and check on the situation behind her. She took a deep breath and gathered herself, before opening her eyes and addressing her guest with a small smile. "I'm sorry about that Naruto-san, what can I do for you?"

Naruto felt her cheeks grow hot. "Uh…well, Tsunade-sama sent me here…to see you?"

Kurenai looked blankly at the younger girl without comprehension.

Naruto rushed and fumbled with her words anxiously. "I mean, I was given this address and told that the person here would be my mentor for this mission and that she would be expecting me and…" It occurred to Naruto that perhaps, as was usually the case in her reality, she'd gotten something wrong. Reduced to a flushed babbling she continued, "Oh no, maybe I messed up and I'll just be going—"

"No, no," Kurenai cut her off, understanding finally dawning on her face. "I just didn't expect…" She shook her head and gave her visitor a bigger smile. "Why don't you go ahead and come in." She stepped back into the apartment and Naruto followed her cautiously. "You can put your shoes by the door."

"Oh," Naruto said, slightly embarrassed, not used to visiting others' homes. Kurenai just kept smiling and slipped around a countertop and into a kitchen area as Naruto fumbled with her sandals.

Kurenai's apartment was a cheerful, open place with the front door opening directly into a living area with comfy looking couches. The kitchen was to the right, doors leading to bedrooms were on the left, and behind the living room was a kitchen table with four chairs centered in front of a large wall consisting mostly of windows, which filled the home with sunshine. A glass door between the windows led to what looked like one of the nice balconies that Naruto had noticed on the street. It was homey, and clean, and warm…Naruto liked it instantly and began to relax a bit…until she found herself roughly tackled from the left and skidded a few feet into the wall.

Naruto looked down into an untidy mop of brown hair, bewildered.

"Hi-ya, Boss-nee-san!" The boy grinned up at her from his hug.

"Konohamaru!" Kurenai's scolding voice could be heard from the kitchen. "You shouldn't tackle people like that. She could have put your eye out."

Naruto felt flustered. She'd always seen Konohamaru as a younger brother, but Ino's comments from last night were running through her head. The tackle hugs had been cute when Konohamaru and his crew had been little, but with age had come height. Naruto barely hit 5'3 with her hair pulled back in a high ponytail and Konohamaru had hit a rapid growth spurt last summer, which meant that the location of Konohamaru's head currently put her in an awkward predicament. No wonder Ino misinterpreted the kid's actions.

_Clever little talking monkey, _came a dark chuckle.

Blushing a bit, Naruto patted the boy's head and quickly shrugged out of the embrace.

_Shut up, Kurama! He's not trying to-_Naruto could feel Kyūbi's snort of disbelief as his abrupt attention faded. She hadn't noticed him listening in, but as their relationship improved over the years, so had the ease of their communication and Kurama's ability to actively participate in her life without invitation.

"Come see my cousin!" The younger teenager grabbed her hand and dragged her to the living room, where a toddler watched them both curiously from amidst a large pile of abused wooden blocks. "This is Matsu-chan," cooed Konohamaru, leaning over the child. "Say hello, Matsu!"

Matsu twisted shyly to hide behind the more familiar party and clutched at Konohamaru's pants.

Naruto wiggled her fingers at the kid with a big grin and sat down with the duo to rebuild "The Block City of Awesome!" which had recently been destroyed by the evil Tobidara.

Kurenai approached the group with a tray of tea and crackers, laughing softly at the silly display. "Konohamaru-kun, I need you to take Matsu-chan to the park for a little while."

"What, why?" the teenager whined and eyed the two suspiciously. "You're going to talk about secret mission stuff, aren't you? I'm old enough to listen, Matsu won't remember anything!"

"Konohamaru-kun," Kurenai gently admonished, "this is a private conversation by order of the Hokage. I'm not asking you as family, I'm telling you this as a superior."

"Fine." A huff and a pout and the boy rolled to his feet. He hefted a squealing Matsu into the air and placed the child on his shoulders. "How long do you need?"

Kurenai held up two fingers and the boy saluted with the hand not securing his cousin to shoulders. "See you later then Aunt Kurenai! Come on Matsu, let's go exploring!" Konohamaru's friendly rambling faded as the door closed behind him.

Kurenai adjusted the tray of tea on the coffee table and patted the couch cushion next to her. "Come sit with me, Naruto-san." She poured two cups of tea as Naruto sat hesitantly next to her. The older woman smiled reassuringly. "I won't bite, I promise. Help yourself to some crackers, I'm afraid I wasn't truly prepared for company or I would offer you something more substantial."

The blonde shook her head. "That's fine, I'm a little too nervous to be hungry, really." She bit her lip and looked down at her tea.

Kurenai's voice was soothing and sympathetic. "That's understandable. I have to admit when Tsunade asked me to mentor a young girl for a mission…you were probably the last person I was expecting to show up on my doorstep."

Kurenai paused for a few seconds, sipping her own tea. "As you know, I'm a genjutsu specialist and that requires a lot of creativity. My mind is running away with me at the moment. The only reason that I can imagine you are here is if someone asked you to seduce your recently returned teammate…which I have to confess I think is a terrible idea, or maybe someone up in the council has finally completely fallen to senility and decided to send you to seduce the Kazekage. Please put my mind at ease and tell me the village leadership hasn't entirely lost their grip on reality yet."

Naruto blinked dumbly. "Wow. No…that's not what I'm here for...but you might not like the real mission either."

Kurenai regarded the younger woman carefully. "Who is your target then?"

Naruto grimaced and pulled her feet up onto the couch, curling her legs under her. Kurenai waited patiently for her response. "It's Sensei," she finally admitted quietly.

Kurenai tapped her teacup, but her face remained expressionless. "Kakashi-san?"

Naruto nodded and picked at the fringe of what seemed to be a well-loved throw blanket dangling on the back of the sofa.

"Well," said Kurenai diplomatically, "that is unexpected." She sat quietly in thought for a few moments. "Upon reflection, I can see where the council is coming from," she finally said, setting down her cup on the coffee table. "What do you think about the situation?"

Naruto threw her a helpless look and twitched.

Kurenai laughed. "I'm sorry," she apologized, "But I don't think I've ever seen you look so out of your depth. I know we haven't spent much time together, but you've always seemed so confident!"

"Usually I am!" Naruto blurted out, "I just…" She trailed off in frustration.

Kurenai nodded her head in understanding. "I was shocked when I received my mission too…maybe it will help if I tell you a little about my circumstances." Kurenai leaned back into the sofa, doing her best to put her company at ease. "I met Asuma at the Academy, when we were both very young. I'm afraid he had a bit of an attitude back then about women…I'm sure you've heard Shikamaru-kun express some similar thoughts in the past."

"Not anymore," scowled Naruto.

"No," agreed Kurenai amiably, "not any more. Asuma learned that lesson eventually too, and as we grew he became quite charming. He was a bit enamored with me and while I publicly…discouraged…his efforts, I think I secretly liked him too. Eventually our flirtation became a…something. Not quite a relationship, but we were more than just friends."

Kurenai's eyes grew distant as she continued her story. "Then, after the Kyūbi attack, he left the Village for a few years. When he came back he was different. He was older, more mature…had different opinions about things. I wasn't sure I liked the 'new' him that much actually. We started...I heard Ino-chan call it an 'on-again-off-again romance' and I think that is probably the best way to describe it. While we both cared for each other it never really solidified into a committed, long-term romantic partnership."

Kurenai sighed, thoughtfully considering the younger girl. "I think...looking back, that we were both a little too proud to agree to compromise on the unimportant things. We wasted a lot of time because of that. Tsunade-sama called me in to offer me my mission barely two months after taking office."

Naruto blinked, startled.

Kurenai smiled, "I refused at first…and I told Tsunade-sama exactly what I thought about the idea of the Village paying other women to attempt to seduce my boyfriend." Kurenai's voice was laced with humor, "I'm lucky she thought it was funny. She was a little more serious when she called me in a year later, and I was a little more ready to listen."

Kurenai smiled. "I don't regret it at all you know…I actually regret that I didn't do it on my own sooner."

The chūnin hugged her knees tightly. "What do you mean?"

Kurenai chuckled, "I was a one-man woman, but I wasn't a nun you know. The only reason I didn't have a child earlier was because I religiously took my birth control tablets. I used the mission as an excuse to throw them out the window. When I was your age, I was all about the job and wanting to advance and becoming a superb, well-respected kunoichi. It took me a while to realize that being a mother wouldn't be the death knell to my career, and that it was something I very much wanted. You don't really see many active kunoichi who are also mothers, do you?"

Naruto shook her head and frowned. "Will they expect me to retire if I have a kid?"

"No," Kurenai assured her, "I had that conversation with Tsunade-sama myself. If you want to return to active duty after the baby, if there's a baby, you'll have Tsunade-sama's full support. I intended to myself, but then Asuma died and…well, I just couldn't stomach the idea of potentially depriving my child of both parents. I didn't retire, though. I still take missions, but nothing that takes me away from the village for more than a week or that is higher than a B Class. But I like teaching, and I'm thinking of taking it up full-time at the Academy once Matsu-chan is old enough to attend." Kurenai smoothed out the wrinkles of her kimono. "Enough about me for a little while, tell me a bit about your situation."

The blonde straightened. "What do you mean?"

"Well, how do you feel about the situation? What do you feel for Kakashi-san? Have you thought about how to accomplish this? Were you given a time frame?" Kurenai paused to allow Naruto the chance to answer, noting that the girl was beginning to look a bit overwhelmed.

"Time frame? I…a year? The scroll said I had a year in which to conceive, if not I can abort the mission if I feel like it."

Kurenai nodded, "My mission had a similar time limit. Of course, I really didn't pay much attention to it."

"As far as my feelings go…" Naruto scrunched her face, "I'm a little confused I think. And scared. And nervous. And I have no plan. Or ideas. Don't know where to start—"

"Calm down, Naruto-san." The jōnin put a hand on her companion's shoulder and adopted a soothing tone. "It's not a race, and there is no right or wrong answer." Silence ensued as Naruto struggled to follow her new mentor's advice.

"Let me think," Kurenai squeezed the younger girl's shoulder reassuringly, "why don't you tell me why you agreed to the mission in the first place. I think that will help me understand you a bit better."

Naruto wiggled. "Well…it was me or someone else, you know? And the others would be people that didn't know Sensei so well and weren't…close to him. I just…if everything was reversed, I would want it to be someone that cared about me. I wouldn't want it to be some strange person who I later found out was just doing this because it was a mission…that would be awful. I would want it to be someone that genuinely liked me and wanted..." Naruto struggled for the right words, "wanted what was in my best interests. I couldn't say no and let Sensei be treated that way by some stranger."

"But," Kurenai asked gently after she was sure that Naruto had finished, "it's ok for you to treat your sensei this way? To seduce him on orders and have his child?"

"No! I'm not…I mean, it's different." Naruto blew her bangs out of her eyes with a frustrated puff of air. "I'm not lying…trying to lie? Oh brother," Naruto muttered, slapping a hand to her face in exasperation. "I mean, the kid will be mine and I'm not going to give it up, but Sensei can be there as much or as little as he wants and at least I'll know that Sensei's kid is taken care of by someone who cares for it and…" Naruto trailed off apologetically. "I don't think I'm explaining this very well."

"Oh, you're communicating well enough." A faint glimmer appeared in Kurenai's eyes, implying Naruto had revealed something important.

Naruto wished that she knew what is was she had revealed in her disjointed babble, but she wasn't quite brave enough to ask her new mentor.

Kurenai cleared her throat. "I imagine you'll be able to better express your feelings as time goes on. I know that Tsunade-sama told you that you could tell me as much or as little about ongoing events as you desire, but in your case, I think it'd best for you to be as honest with me as possible about what is going on, can you agree to do that?"

"Yes," Naruto replied without hesitation.

"Good. Answer me honestly, do you want to go through with this?"

Naruto looked surprised. "If I can?"

The jōnin frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Well," the blonde shrugged, "the Psych department apparently wasn't very sure that I would be successful. They think I have the best chance of completing the mission successfully, but they aren't completely sure that Kakashi will be…ah, helpful. Or, you know, that he likes girls. At all."

Kurenai barked a laugh. "Well then, that may make things a bit harder, but we can work with it. Are you still taking birth control?"

Naruto felt heat rise to her cheeks. "Not really."

Kurenai gave the girl a flat look and the younger woman rushed to explain.

"The fox gives me a boosted healing factor, right? Well, part of that is clearing anything my body determines to be a foreign substance out of my system at like, record rates. It could be poison from an enemy's weapon, but it also could be something simple like a shot of alcohol, an overdose of sugar, or, well, whatever is in the birth control tablets apparently. See, Sakura-chan thought it might be a problem so when it came time to take them she ran some tests on me and found out they really are only effective for a day or two."

Naruto paused for a breath. "Sakura-chan says it's not cost-effective to use them like that, so I don't take them regularly, you know, since the tablet is supposed to last weeks, not just a day or two. I have some in case I ever needed them for a night," she explained. "And if I'm going on a long-term mission with expected hostile powers, I get a shot…which she says is a high-concentrated dose of the stuff. It lasts about a week. Then I have to re-administer the stuff myself, which is totally not fun. But, I've only had to do that twice. Since I was fifteen."

Kurenai gave the girl a curious look. "This may be a bit personal, but how do you regulate your cycle to keep it from affecting missions?"

"I just ask Kurama to stop it."

The genjutsu specialist looked at her in disbelief. "You ask the Kyūbi to stop it."

"Yup."

"And he does?"

"Yup."

Kurenai looked thoughtful. "Could Kyūbi start it then?"

The chūnin hmmed and played with one of her pigtails. "I don't know…he can start or stop most of the organs in my body nowadays if he really wants to…kind of scary when you think about it, but I trust him not to…he's in a lot better mood nowadays. But when he messes with _that_ it's probably more accurate to say he 'pauses' things rather than stops them. Does that matter?"

Kurenai shook her head. "Maybe not. It's just something to keep in mind. It means that it might be harder to keep track of when you are most fertile, or it might be that the Kyūbi can help you accomplish this sooner."

Naruto gave an embarrassed squeak. "People can do that? _I_ have to do that?"

The older woman looked amused, "Generally women do that when they are trying to have a child, yes."

Naruto groaned. "Fine, I'll start keeping track of…_things_."

"Good, now how are you planning on getting into your sensei's pants?"

"Kurenai-sensei!"

* * *

Naruto walked past the Academy with her hands tucked in the pockets of her pants. She was lucky that she'd actually been able to give an accurate account of Sensei's-Kakashi's daily schedule to Kurenai-sensei. Kurenai-sensei had said that Naruto needed to stop thinking of Kakashi as Sensei in her head. He needed to be a person and not a position. Naruto didn't entirely understand but she was so out-of-sorts with this whole mission that she was willing to try any advice at the moment. She turned the corner of the academy training field and entered the administrative side of the building, heading for the Hokage's office. Kakashi was out on a mission this week, which Kurenai-sensei said was a good thing. Naruto was supposed to use this week to prepare—

"Naruto!"

She turned at the sound of her name, and noticed the cheerfully waving chūnin manning the mission desk. Smiling she trotted obediently toward him. "Hey, Iruka-sensei!"

"How are you doing? Are you here for an assignment?" The scarred man smiled at her and she couldn't help but mirror his happiness at seeing her.

"Nah, I need to see the Hokage actually."

Iruka's mood changed immediately. "What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything, honest!" The girl gawked at him. "Why do you always think I've done something bad when I come to see her?"

Iruka's eyes narrowed. "Well, maybe it's because the last time you came to see her, it was because you were trying out experimental justu without supervision and cut down a dozen power lines by the Hyuuga compound, or the time before that when you tried to see how good your sense of smell was compared to an Inuzuka's and dared Kiba to—"

Naruto slapped her hand over the chūnin's mouth. "You promised not to tell people about that one!"

Iruka's eyes glittered dangerously. "So, what's it this time then?"

Naruto pouted. "It's private. And I'm not in trouble, I'm actually working on something she asked me to do, I promise."

Iruka rolled his eyes. "I suppose I can take you to her then. She's hiding out in the break room because Koharu-sama has been waiting to ambush her in her office since lunch." He came out from around the desk and caught Naruto in a headlock, ruffling her hair.

"Stop it! I'm not a baby anymore, Sensei! It's been a long time since I've been your little kid." Naruto whined as she wriggled from his playful grasp. It just wasn't fair that she never grew out of the perfect height for most people to give her a noogie.

"Ha! I'm your teacher, Naruto…it's been my job to keep an eye on you before you were tall enough to reach the blackboard." Iruka chattered as he escorted her down the halls, occasionally stopping to check in with various administrative assistants. Fortunately, because of her escort, no one blocked her from reaching the Hokage. He winked at her cheekily. "You'll always be one of my kids." Naruto sighed. _This_ _is_ _what I'm afraid of…_

Iruka noticed her gloomy mood change and lightly punched her shoulder. "Now go apologize to the Hokage for whatever you've destroyed. Maybe if you turn on the puppy-dog eyes she'll only make you stand in the corner for an hour."

Naruto scowled and stuck out her tongue at her sensei's retreating back. Ebisu chose that moment to walk by, munching on a bagel, and raised an eyebrow at her antics. Flustered, she ducked into the lounge.

"Granny!"

"Shut up!" Tsunade hissed from the break-room table, bent over some paperwork. "I'm hiding," she said, glaring sternly with honey-colored eyes.

Naruto grinned in relief that at least she wouldn't be the only immature one who would ever wear that fancy hat.

Naruto pulled out a chair across from the woman, taking a seat as the Hokage eyed her warily while she munched on a cucumber sandwich. "Whad'ya blow up this time?"

"Seriously?" Naruto gaped, "I haven't done anything in _months—"_

"I know," said Tsunade gravely. "You're overdue and it worries me."

Naruto scowled and crossed her arms. "I had _the _meeting this morning."

Tsunade nodded. "It went well then."

The younger girl sighed and collapsed in her seat as if her strings had been cut. "It made me feel a bit better," she admitted.

Tsunade waited patiently for the chūnin to get to the point.

"She thinks I need to do some planning this week."

"That's probably a good idea," Tsunade said carefully, eyeing the last cucumber sandwich lying temptingly on the table, wondering if she could finish her own quickly enough to claim it before her companion.

Fortunately, it wasn't ramen and Tsunade snatched it up as Naruto thought on how to word what she wanted to say vaguely enough that only the Hokage would understand the request. There were no privacy seals in the break room, after all, and Tsunade liked using these moments as 'tests' for Naruto to work through ("So you actually _think_ for a change, you silly girl"). "I need some scheduled time. Something that's regular…can't be shrugged off, and I saw that by the way." She gestured to the stolen sandwich. "–And that was rude."

"Hokage," her companion retorted, and then swallowed a chip and appeared to change subjects. "I'm thinking of asking your old team to apply for the jōnin exam next year."

Naruto was thrown off guard for a moment but caught on to the game when Tsunade continued.

"All three of you are more than capable of taking the exam this year, but I want to be very sure that you all pass and with Sakura's schedule and the Uchiha's current limitations…" Even Naruto didn't need for Tsunade to finish the sentence to understand her reasoning. "A year won't hurt you and it will be a good time to hone some of your more specialized skills. It will be mostly self-study of course, but the three of you are training together anyway…" Tsunade trailed off and Naruto picked up the conversation.

"Some of our moves are pretty dangerous, are you sure you want Sasuke-bastard and I practicing that stuff? Technically, you've told him not to use A or S rank techniques an without authorized jōnin present to supervise."

Tsunade rocked back in her chair thoughtfully. "You're right, and I really don't want to amend that…I suppose I could schedule you for one day a week of supervised training."

"Only one measly day a week?" Naruto said crossly, "We're never going to accomplish anything like that."

The Hokage rolled her eyes. "Fine, you can have two. But only two days, and I can't guarantee you'll have the same jōnin all the time. I'll put in a request for Hatake, I know you all are most comfortable with him, but if he's out on a mission you may have to put up with Gai. Or the Nara boy. I want someone there who I know can stop things if they get out of hand."

Naruto squirmed in her seat. "I'm excited."

Tsunade frowned, "Don't be too excited, you have to have a clean bill of health for the exams you know, no complications…so don't go breaking anything that Sakura can't fix. Otherwise you'll have to postpone taking the exam until you're in fighting shape again."

Naruto smiled and stood from her chair. "I understand, but I'll make jōnin by the time I'm twenty, believe it!"

"I don't doubt you," drawled the older woman. "Now get out, and don't tell people you saw me."

Naruto laughed and made her way cheerfully toward the exit.

She had Kakashi's time booked for regular "training sessions" as well as she could. He'd be a captive audience for a known period of time. Sure she'd have to share the time with Sakura and Sasuke, but Kurenai assured her that this wouldn't matter in the long run. These meetings would serve as a springboard for bigger events in Kurenai's scheme…of which Naruto really didn't know all the details yet.

It _was_ a bit disappointing to realize that she would have to put off the jōnin exam until the primary mission was complete, but she was only obligated for a year...kids took nine months, right? …she could get this wrapped up in time, believe it.

Shizune accosted her near the main exit, looking harried.

"She's in the break room," Naruto said with a sweet smile and a wave.

"Thank you," bit out the Godaime's assistant, stalking down the hall with all the righteous fury of one forced to bear the consequences of another's misdeeds.

Tsunade might be the Hokage, but Naruto knew on whose good side she really needed to stay.

* * *

**Next Week: Chapter 5 – Learning Curves**

(AKA: Ino and Sakura Explain it All)

"Look," said Ino, tapping her foot impatiently, "I've got a lot of work to do and a limited amount of time to do it in, let me practice my art."


	6. Learning Curves

Story: Making Arrangements

Rating: M

Author: CrownsofLaurels

Beta: CrystallineX

Chapter Five: Learning Curves

Summary: Sakura and Ino explain it all.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, I write this for fun and am not paid for it.

Credit: I drew some inspiration from this chapter from Troubling New Developments, by SicTransitGloria (which, if you haven't read and would like to laugh, please check out) and the pop culture movie, Mean Girls, both of which are far cleverer than I could ever claim to be. This is posted just a tad early to celebrate that I passed my professional exam! I get to keep my job, yay!

* * *

**Chapter Five: Learning Curves**

Naruto shifted her weight as she stood outside the hospital. She took in the large building before her and considered Kurenai-sensei's next piece of advice.

Naruto needed a crash-course in seduction.

Naruto had listed off what she remembered from the Academy lectures and Kurenai-sensei had frowned and muttered something about this being problematic.

_This_ was Kurenai's solution…and punishment for failing to pay attention as a child.

A familiar chakra brushed against the edge of her awareness and Naruto took a deep breath, gathering her courage and steeling herself for an evening the likes of which she had hoped never to experience. _I'd rather spend a week of training with Gai's team than do this_, she thought earnestly.

"Naruto?"

The blonde pushed back her mental complaints, took a deep breath, and walked forward to meet the questioning emerald gaze of her teammate.

"I need your help Sakura-chan."

Sakura adjusted the book bag she was wearing. "Of course, what's wrong?" She looked tired and Naruto felt a bit bad about stealing her away from what was sure to be a relaxing evening. If she didn't already know how much the other girl would enjoy the next few words out of Naruto's mouth, she'd have postponed her request.

"I lied. There is a boy," Naruto let the anxiety of the past two days (had it really only been a little over twenty four hours since she'd accepted this mission?) flood her and bring tears to her large blue eyes. "There is a boy and I don't know the first thing about what I'm supposed to do about it." _Go ahead and laugh at my puppy-dog eyes Iruka-sensei, it's not stupid if it works! _Naruto gave a slight sniff to emphasize her distress. "I need help Sakura-chan."

"Oh, Naru-chan," Sakura reached out her hands to clutch Naruto's tightly. "Don't worry, I know _exactly_ what to do," she cooed.

Naruto mentally flinched in recognition of the fanatical gleam appearing in her teammate's eyes. _Save me, Kurama!_

_Hell no! Go die, Monkey! _A hint of fangs bared in amusement and Naruto could only gulp as Sakura dragged her toward the market district, chattering away about seasons and colors and something to do with highlighters.

* * *

"No."

Naruto's head spun dizzily and she wobbled a bit as the shirt was yanked out of her hands in the midst of putting it on and another was pulled impatiently over her arms.

"Try this one," snapped Ino, looking over the other blonde with a critical eye.

"God, Ino, let her breathe." Sakura took the offending shirt and replaced it on the hanger, adding it to the growing pile of rejected clothes haphazardly thrown in the corner.

The three had been holed up in a dressing room for the past two hours and Naruto was beginning to fear that she would never again see the light of day. So far, the acceptable clothes pile consisted of a yukata, which Naruto was told that she wasn't allowed to wear until it was officially summer, but needed to purchase just in case, as well as two flimsy sundresses that she had reluctantly agreed to only after Ino showed Naruto how to secure weapons underneath the garment so others couldn't tell that the wearer was armed.

Naruto had also agreed, practically at kunai point, to purchase two pairs of heels (complementary to the dresses) which she was convinced were actually torture devices. Ino had nodded and told her how great they were for keeping men in line on dates as Naruto looked oddly at the girl. Naruto herself had meant that they would be torture to wear, not devices which could inflict torture upon others.

Naruto was also told that she needed a kimono, but those tended to be more expensive and Ino thought she had one shoved in her closet at home that she had outgrown which would fit Naruto nicely.

Now, Ino was trying to revamp Naruto's everyday kunoichi attire. They'd fought bitterly over the outfit. Ultimately, it was only Kurenai-sensei's advice to trust Ino's instincts and Ino's grudging agreement to compromise on color which parted a tearful Naruto from her beloved, baggy black and orange ensemble.

"Look," said Ino, tapping her foot impatiently, "I've got a lot of work to do and a limited amount of time to do it in, let me practice my art."

Naruto wasn't certain what Ino's 'art' was, but it seemed to involve introducing Naruto to a new level of hell known as 'assembling a wardrobe.'

"Better," Ino's pale eyes shone as she grabbed Naruto's shoulders and spun her around to look at her reflection in the mirror.

Naruto, resigned to her fate as the Yamanka's new favorite paper doll, regarded her reflection warily. "How is this better?" Naruto wiggled her shoulders and grimaced. "How do you even stay in this thing?"

Ino sniffed, "It has a hybrid pushup-sports bra built in, I promise you, you aren't going anywhere." She flipped her ponytail over her shoulder and eyed Naruto with an air of expertise. "Get down, do some kata and see if you can move in it."

Naruto stepped off the pedestal in the large dressing room. Ino was a frequent customer and got special perks—like kicking whoever was in the big dressing room out in favor of her party. The black tank top had a low neckline and didn't completely cover her stomach. Naruto kept trying to pull it down, but it kept riding up and eventually Ino noticed and snapped at that the girl was supposed to be showing a little stomach for a 'peek-a-boo' effect. Naruto really, really didn't want to know. Naruto supposed that she should be thankful that while it revealed some skin, it in no way resembled Sai's preferred attire. She took the cropped black and orange jacket from Sakura and felt a bit better with the extra cloth on her shoulders.

She attempted to zip it close, to no avail. "Too tight! Can't breathe!"

Ino batted Naruto's hands away from the garment and unzipped it again. "You aren't supposed to zip it! Leave it open; if you get a bigger size it won't be as flattering. You choose a smaller jacket and leave it open so that it hugs your form a bit better and draws attention here," Ino poked a finger at Naruto's cleavage, "right where you want it to be."

Naruto swatted at Ino, squawking in protest. "Stop that!" She returned her attention to the mirror, dismally eyeing the orange miniskirt. "Does it have to be a skirt?"

"It's that or the shorts," Ino replied frostily, "and honestly, I'd get both so you could switch them out when you feel like a change of clothes. The shorts show off your ass and your legs, but the skirt is a bit more feminine. If you want to pull the 'I'm a girl! Protect me!' card, go with the skirt."

Naruto scowled at her friend, her blush a permanent fixture on her face by this point.

Ino didn't quail, having the advantage of fighting on home turf.

It didn't help that Sakura-chan was snickering behind them.

Naruto crossed her arms, "If I fight in this skirt, I'll be flashing my opponent every time I execute a kick, I'm not that desperate for attention."

Ino rolled her eyes, "Fine, we'll get you a pair of black spandex shorts to go under the skirt, but you're getting the other shorts too."

Ino turned to gather up the acceptable pile of clothes. Over her shoulder she called out, "Now, what shape is your lingerie drawer in?"

Naruto paused as she fought a losing battle to get out of her skirt, struggling to find the zipper and escape the evil skirt-contraption, wondering if this could possibly get any worse. Ino's words eventually registered and the jinchūriki turned confused blue eyes to meet Ino's matter-of-fact expression. "Huh? What does my laundry have to do with anything?"

Sakura and Ino shared a horrified look.

"Guys?"

Sakura swallowed and patted Naruto's shoulder pityingly. "We'll work on that tomorrow."

"Guys," Naruto cried, hurriedly hopping back into her original attire and trailing the pair as they headed toward a clerk eagerly awaiting their large purchase, "Why do you need to know about my laundry? Guys!"

* * *

"Too small, I told you she was a 34 C," Ino snapped and flung the offending piece of cloth across the room, replacing it with one of her own choosing, much to Naruto's increasing mortification. _I was so wrong, this can totally get worse_, thought Naruto remorsefully.

The afternoon began with Ino and Sakura ambushing the chūnin at her apartment, emptying the drawers of Naruto's battered old dresser onto her unmade bed and sorting through its upended contents with contemptuous grimaces. They claimed that the attack was to better understand how to help her and to know what they had to work with. ("Nothing, cried Ino, hands thrown dramatically into the air, "She's given me nothing!").

Since then, Naruto had been shown and demonstrated (and forced to recite back, to prove she understood) the differences between sports bras, pushup bras, demi bras, strapless bras, convertible bras, bras with and without underwire, bras that were worn only under t-shirts, as well as flimsy lacy things that were apparently only used because they turned men's minds to mush. Most embarrassingly she'd gotten a lecture on sleep wear and how the hole-y, oversized shirts that she was used to wearing to bed were a big no-no now that she was grown and especially if she was considering _entertaining_ at night.

"T-shirts are only cute to sleep in if they are _his_ and even then they have to be long enough to cover your butt and no longer than mid-thigh," instructed Ino, illustrating the acceptable lengths with her hands. "Any shorter and you come across as slutty and any longer he'll think you're prudish," Ino elaborated. Naruto was certain that they had never covered this in any of the Academy lectures and didn't entirely understand the whole thing about the length requirements, but since Sakura-chan was nodding her agreement to Ino's commentary in the background Naruto could only nod along as well, bewildered.

Currently, Naruto was exhaustedly standing in yet another dressing room, having caved to Ino's attempts to treat her like a child's doll about five-minutes into figuring out how to work a convertible bra which had straps that could apparently be worn ten different ways. "And it can double as a garrote in a pinch," Ino had added cheerfully.

"I can't believe you've made it this far in life without knowing the value of a good pushup bra," growled the testy blonde, "Stand up straight!"

Naruto adjusted her posture at the poke and looked to Sakura for help, who was sitting on a stool in the corner with an odd expression on her face.

Curious, Naruto called out to her teammate. "Hey, Sakura-chan, what's wrong?"

Sakura just shook her head with a smile, "Nothing."

Ino snorted, "Don't be stupid, she's just jealous of your boobs."

"Ino!" screeched Sakura, "I am _not_ jealous of her boobs!"

"Ah…" said Naruto nervously, "I thought you liked boys, Sakura-chan?" She was reconsidering how easily she'd disregarded the whole 'changing' thing in front of the other two…_I just thought girls did this when they went shopping together… they acted like it was normal, maybe I was wrong?_

Sakura's jaw dropped as she spluttered to an accompaniment of Ino's laughter.

"No," said Ino, "Sakura-chan's exclusively into men, but that doesn't mean that a girl can't acknowledge a pair of great boobs when she sees them. You've got great boobs, not as good as mine, of course, but they are admirable. And now you know how to use lingerie to make them work for you even more," she said with a saucy wink. "Put your clothes on, this is the last of what you need."

Naruto pulled her top on, relieved, for the moment ignoring Sakura's lecture about how these items were what a girl _minimally_ required and that Naruto would be expected to build on the wardrobe in the future.

Ino gave Naruto a knowing look and mumbled something about how Naruto ought to be glad that she hadn't made the girl try on a corset.

By the time she was done, Ino and Sakura were examining themselves in the mirror.

"My forehead is huge," Sakura moaned.

"I'm in desperate need of a mission where I can get a tan," sighed Ino.

"My bangs are so oily," muttered Sakura.

"I need to pluck my eyebrows again," added Ino.

They both looked at Naruto expectantly.

Awkwardly, Naruto sought for something to say. "My hair is…?" She trailed off, gesturing helplessly at her head.

"Yes," Ino nodded gravely, "Yes it is."

* * *

Naruto was only a little surprised when Ino and Sakura mobbed her on the way home from visiting Iruka-sensei the next day, spiriting their victim to a hair and nail salon, where women with heavy make-up wailed about the state of Naruto's split-ends and cuticles.

Originally, the duo tried to get Naruto to shorten the length of her blonde locks ("such lovely, golden tresses," cooed the woman overseeing the event). Once Naruto explained that she wore her hair long because of her mother's hair, the two backed off and contented themselves to explaining the importance of routine trims and the other ins-and-outs of basic hair care as a strange woman massaged funny smelling potions into Naruto's scalp.

Afterward, the hair stylist was beaming at another happy customer and Naruto was stroking the shiny strands in wonder.

"Wow," she breathed, eyes big, "It's so soft…"

"I know, right," Ino nodded with authority and tossed a jar at the dazed girl. "This is called conditioner. You use it. Regularly."

"Which means every time you wash your hair," added Sakura.

"Which should be roughly every other day," clarified Ino, as if she was speaking to a small child. "Your hair isn't oily enough to warrant washing every day."

"How in the world do you guys know all this stuff?" Naruto was baffled, which Ino and Sakura actually thought was an adorable look for the girl and probably why they got so much joy out of sharing the maintenance skills they'd carefully hoarded over a lifetime of reading gossip magazines.

"Trade secret," Ino replied haughtily, flipping her ponytail over her shoulder. "Now as far as your nails go, we're ninja, and we aren't expected to keep them in as great shape as civilian women do. However," Ino pinned her pupil with disapproving eyes, "That doesn't mean you're allowed to get away with letting dirt accumulate under your nails or wear them away by biting."

Naruto shrank guiltily in her chair.

Sakura contributed her thoughts from the chair next to Naruto, where she was getting her own manicure. "Biting your nails is a bad habit, Naruto. You don't have to do a lot to take good care of them, but you should make sure to thoroughly wash the dirt off your hands after training practices."

The girls went on to explain the necessities of lotions for softening and rehydrating skin. They discussed the best places to buy these items, as kunoichi often preferred to use scentless lotions that wouldn't give unnecessary aide to those wished to track them.

From there, Naruto was bustled away until she was sneezing testily outside a busy perfume shop.

"Oh, no way," sniffed Naruto, eyes watering, "it smells so much!"

Ino tsked. "Do you even know why women use perfume, Naruto?"

Naruto just crinkled her nose and waited for an explanation, correctly assuming that this was a rhetorical question.

"It's psychology," drawled the Yamanaka heiress. "It smells overwhelming right now because people test out the scents in the shops all the time, and some women do overdo perfume it's true. In reality, less is more when it comes to this stuff, but the little that we do use is invaluable."

Naruto blinked, not quite sure where Ino was headed with this.

"You see," continued her companion, undaunted by Naruto's incomprehension, "Every girl finds a scent they like, and there are so many varieties of perfume that almost every girl winds up with a different scent. I even make my own. Now, you don't use it much, and as kunoichi, we never use it on missions and hardly ever when training, but you use it to attract attention. To attract attention from guys especially."

"I still don't get it," Naruto said flatly.

Sakura jumped in, "It's like this. When there is a guy that you like, you stay around him a lot and try to spend more time with him. Eventually, if he likes you too, he gets a little closer and winds up in your personal space and will smell the perfume. It's supposed to be a subtle smell, but as the guy spends more time with you and you spend more time him, the smell lingers wherever you are and eventually, the guy begins to associate the smell with your presence."

Sakura giggled, "You can even go as far as to spray a little on his pillows or clothes if the two of you are really close. So, when he registers the smell, even subconsciously, he starts thinking of you…and soon he is thinking of you even when you aren't there because your perfume is lingering in the places you visit."

"Right," agreed Ino, "It's a conditioning technique."

_It's marking your territory,_ added the Kyūbi, voicing his appreciation of a concept that he understood.

Naruto looked to the sky in exasperation. "Fine. I'm not going in that shop though, just pick me something you think would be good that isn't too strong."

Sakura and Ino advanced on the shop like cats cornering a particularly tasty mouse as Naruto stood outside, sneezing occasionally. They returned victoriously with a pretty little bottle containing a clear liquid that smelled subtly of oranges and something else that made Naruto want to perk up and play. She accepted the bottle, but slipped it into her pocket, doubting that she'd ever use it.

* * *

Naruto wasn't even halfheartedly surprised when the next day she was trapped in Ino's bedroom, sitting poised on a stool in front of the bossy girl's vanity as Sakura sprawled comfortably across the bed, kicking her feet in the air and absently flipping through a magazine.

"So are you sure you won't tell us who the guy is?" wheedled Ino in between trying to explain the difference between cream and powder foundation. She and Sakura had just finished a heated debate over whether Naruto would be better served by using liquid or pencil eyeliner. Naruto privately thought she'd be best off without either, seeing as she kept poking the stuff in her eye instead of elegantly applying it right above her eyelashes.

"Yes," responded Naruto, without hesitation. Ino had lost her back when explaining the varieties of mascara. Naruto just latched onto the information about the waterproof version and decided to stick with that if she ever had to use it all.

Naurto elaborated, "You might know him and he is in the village and that's all I'm saying. I'll tell you more if anything comes of it. I don't want you two to scare him away."

Ino sighed, setting down her blush brush amongst the dozens of other brushes for which Naruto had already forgotten the purposes.

"Fine then." Ino didn't draw out the questioning. She and Sakura _were_ notorious for stalking new people that caught their attention. It probably would be awkward for the poor boy, whoever he was, once the girls learned his identity. Besides, everyone knew that Naruto was horrible at keeping secrets; inevitably, she'd slip up and say something that gave away the game. And with Ino on the case, the information would come out sooner rather than later.

Ino handed the girl a washcloth to clean her face and a bottle of oil that would help remove all of the face paint. Ino had shown Naruto how to use eye shadow and some other small tricks for a "natural, neutral everyday look." Then, Naruto had allowed the eager teenager to give her a much more complicated makeover. The results were very pretty, but they both knew that Naruto would never replicate it on her own.

"You're so lucky that you have one of those faces that doesn't need a lot of makeup," said Ino, enviously.

Sakura hummed her distracted agreement from the bed, and Naruto joined her teammate after cleaning up in Ino's adjoining bathroom.

"Now that we've covered the basics of accessorizing and body maintenance," Professor Ino strode around the room, commanding the attention of her troops, who listened intently. "What do you know about getting a guy's attention?"

Naruto nervously rubbed at the back of her head.

"Oh come on now, you have to know something," Ino stated impatiently. "You were taught by that Sannin for years!"

"It's not like he took me with him for company when he went to brothels or spied on hot springs," scowled Naruto. "He pretty much dumped me in a hotel room or a forest and let me work on my own when he was…away doin' his stuff."

"Doing his stuff?" Ino repeated with a drawl and arched eyebrows. "What about that sexy-jutsu thing you did a couple times back at the Academy, it was crude but effective."

Naruto blushed. "Hey! I haven't done that one in a long time." Her tone grew defensive as Sakura glared, remembering her own embarrassment whenever her teammate had used that technique in the past.

Naruto hastily continued, expounding with dramatic hand gestures, "Besides, that's not really me, you know…it was more, projecting a character, acting. I wasn't old enough to understand why it actually worked back then, and now that I know why some women act that way…its not, I couldn't…" she trailed off with an embarrassed stammer.

"I'm not saying you should do the exact same thing," Ino said. "I'm just pointing out that you had the right ideas back then, that behavior could be classified as flirtatious. Eye contact is important, so is posture, and touch, and the way you angle your body. I _know_ you've seen me be flirty, and you've seen how guys react when I push too far and they get uncomfortable. That's a good strategy sometimes, fluster the guy and he'll be more likely to reveal something he shouldn't, or miss something that he should be paying attention to. Just think about the way you acted back then and tone it down a bit."

Ino tapped her lip thoughtfully, "I know! I'm going to assign you homework."

Naruto groaned and fell back against the pillows, jostling Sakura who elbowed her in retaliation.

Ino grinned deviously and plopped onto the edge of the bed. "Over the next few weeks, you need to practice flirting with men. Start as subtle as you can be, and then up your aggressiveness each day."

Naruto gulped, "But isn't that mean, leading guys on like that?"

Ino ignored the question and promoted her own plan. "Who do you see when Sakura is with you? It won't do you any good if she's not there to evaluate your behavior and the results."

"Well, we see Sasuke-bastard a lot, and Sensei occasionally…"

"That's perfect!" Ino beamed. "Those are what you can consider as 'safe' targets."

Naruto looked at her, doubtful.

Ino waived off the girl's concern, "No really, that's who I practiced on when I started flirting. It's kind of expected, and they are your teammates so they are a captive audience that has to put up with it."

Naruto looked at Sakura for support, but Ino's words had made her friend unusually thoughtful, and she wasn't paying attention to the reluctant blonde. Naruto turned back to Ino. "Won't they be upset?"

"Nah," shrugged the taller blonde. "They might feel a little awkward…it can be funny actually. Asuma-sensei got in the habit of ending practice early to get away from me, Shikamaru walked into trees a couple times a day, Chouji kept trying to eat a chip and missing his mouth…In a couple of weeks, it'll lose its novelty because you don't mean anything by it and it won't go anywhere. When the guys wrap their minds around this fact they'll develop something akin to immunity to it. You're practically doing them a service, without your behavior they'll never learn how to respond to flirty kunoichi in a real fight."

Naruto could almost buy into that. Ino was a master at rationalization.

"Do you think it will have any effect on Sasuke and Sensei? They aren't exactly well-adjusted…." Sakura's words surprised Naruto, as the girl had yet to speak up in the conversation.

"It probably makes it better to practice on them," said Ino practically, "See how far you have to go to get a response from them. In fact," she clapped her hands in excitement as an idea occurred to her, "let's spice things up by making a bet! I bet that you can't get Sasuke-kun to blush by the end of the month."

Sakura looked at her suspiciously, "What do we get if we win?"

Ino smiled, "I'll buy your team dinner at the Shushuya."

"And if we lose?" asked Naruto, always cautious when it came to something that might empty her beloved Gama-chan.

Ino's smile turned mischievous, "You have to buy my teammates dinner."

Sakura stuck out her hand, a competitive gleam in her eye, "Fine, Deal."

"Fine!" Naruto cried, "No, not fine! Don't you know how much Chouji eats?"

"What's the matter, Naru-chan," teased Ino. "Don't you think you and Sakura-chan can work a little emotional response out of the Ice King?" Ino looked at her with sympathy, "Not woman enough for the challenge?"

"Fine." Naruto ground her teeth. "But, for the record, I thought this was a stupid idea from the start."

* * *

"How did you know that she would suggest that?" Naruto asked curiously, munching on an apple at Kurenai's kitchen table at the end of the week.

Kurenai gave her a wry smile, "Who did you think Asuma came to ask for advice when Ino decided to put her Academy lessons into practice?"

Naruto winced, twirling the apple by its stem on the tabletop. "Doesn't sound like she gave him an easy time of it."

"No," said Kurenai with a soft laugh, "She was eager to try every trick in the book short of full exposure and lip to lip contact. Fortunately, she was young enough at the time that it did little more than terrify Asuma and make him vow to never have daughters. If she was your age and acting the way she did back then, I would have taken her aside for a talk."

"So, you don't think Sensei is as safe a target as Ino claims?"

"At your age? No…If you were thirteen or fourteen, like Ino was when she started honing this particular skillset, I think Kakashi wouldn't have so much as glanced away from his Icha-Icha books. You wouldn't have been able to offer him something his novel didn't provide. Now, at eighteen…" Kurenai trailed off with a smile, "I think you'll be much more distracting, and hopefully he'll find reality more colorful and fulfilling than a book that he's re-reading for the fortieth time."

Naruto squirmed a little uncomfortably.

"Remember Naruto," cautioned Kurenai, "This is a long-term process, you're not going to complete the mission the first time you see Kakashi-san. The first step is just to get his attention, make him notice you, be distracting. I've been told that you have a reputation for being the most unpredictable kunoichi that Konoha has to offer. Surely you think that you can accomplish this first step."

Naruto grinned, gathering her confidence, "Believe it!"

* * *

**Next Week: Chapter 6 – Task Masters**

(AKA: Enter Kakashi, stage right)

Kakashi reluctantly admitted to himself, as he returned to the village through a seldom-used back gate, flaring his chakra as a courtesy to the ANBU prowling the sector, that maybe, just _maybe_, he was getting a little too old for this type of thing.


	7. Task Masters

Story: Making Arrangements

Rating: M

Author: CrownsofLaurels

Beta(s): **CrystallineX** (who catches all my typos, major plot holes, and sleep-deprived errors) and **Ladywinterfic** (who has been a BIG help with characterization and plot development).

Chapter Six: Task Masters

Summary: Enter Kakashi stage right.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, I write this for fun and am not paid for it.

* * *

**Chapter Six: Task Masters**

Kakashi reluctantly admitted to himself, as he returned to the village through a seldom-used back gate, flaring his chakra as a courtesy to the ANBU prowling the sector, that maybe, just _maybe_, he was getting a little too old for this type of thing.

Pakkun trotted lightly by his side. "Good to be home," the pug muttered.

"Ah," agreed Kakashi.

"You smell tired," the dog stated.

Kakashi said nothing, slouched with his hands in his pockets.

"Well," said the dog with a snort, "I'm tired. And these paws aren't getting any younger. I expect bones and a belly rub when you get settled."

Kakashi merely nodded and kept walking, raising his hand in a slow wave as the summons poofed away.

Kakashi _was_ tired. For every year that he gained, his respect for Jiraiya, the Sandaime, and the Godaime increased. To be able to operate as well as they could at their age…it was the little things that he was beginning to notice which were frustrating. He might still be faster than ninety percent of the ninja he encountered, but his speed with hand signs was just a few seconds slower than it was in his mid-twenties, no matter how hard that he tried to increase it. When he used his sharingan, it drained him of energy just the tiniest bit more quickly every year. When he received a hard strike to his left leg, his femur was just a little more likely to crack and a little slower to heal each time (as it had been since he shattered it on a bad mission when he was eighteen).

But this was _his _village.

This was his profession.

He fought alongside honorable colleagues and fought for his precious people. And if taking these missions meant that his kids didn't have to do so for another year or so, then that's what he would do. After all, this was the job that he had trained for since he'd taken his first steps toward his father. It was the job that he had accepted when he'd graduated from the academy at thebage of five. It was the job that he'd completed, mostly successfully and certainly exceptionally well, for the past twenty-seven years.

He was a front-line, top-of-the-line shinobi, and he was damn good at this job.

He was also smart.

And practical.

He knew that ninja of his caliber, with reputations like his and with talents as in demand as his own…those ninja didn't live long. The Tsunades and Jiraiyas of the world were rare and lucky. The much more common tales belonged to those like Sakumo, and the young Hyūga boy. They were the tales of those who burned brightly and quickly, vanishing with barely a sputter. He was lucky to have made it to 32, and he would be even luckier to see 33.

He was a man who had resigned himself to the fact that his own story was coming to an end.

He'd made a certain peace with that.

After all, he didn't harbor any great, unfulfilled ambitions. While it was flattering to know that _if_ something happened to the Hokage, the Village trusted him to pick up the role long enough for Naruto to grow into it, it was an obligation that he'd _really_, _really_, rather live without experiencing.

And at her current rate of progress, Kakashi believed that it wouldn't be much longer before his favorite blonde knuckle-head was ready to take on the role, and give Tsunade-sama a well-deserved break. The past few years had brought him unexpected brushes with death and glimpses of the people he had once loved. Though the encounters were brief, each additional one was yet another wound to his heart.

It was terrible when one realized that they had far more loved ones listed among the dead than the living and Kakashi had been unfortunate enough to count himself among that number at far too young of an age.

His most recent evaluation with the Psych. Division (after he'd successfully 'missed' it for two months) diagnosed him as depressed.

He didn't really believe that; in his opinion, he was reacting fairly logically to his situation. He certainly wasn't looking to die, or even to harm himself, and it wasn't like he would go as far as to say that he was looking forward to death. Death was just another event in life, one which no longer scared him the same way it did when he was a younger man. He just thought of it as something that might be, well, peaceful. That was the word he'd given to the Psych. ninja when Shizune had escorted him to the appointment with Tsunade's signed letter ordering the copy ninja to answer honestly.

He didn't think that was a bad thing at all.

His eyebrows twitched slightly as he recalled other details of the appointment.

His counselor had worried that the jōnin didn't find things in life enjoyable anymore.

Which was just ridiculous.

Kakashi found many things in life enjoyable.

He enjoyed reading Icha Icha, though there hadn't been any new novels in the series since Jiraiya had died (and wouldn't ever be, for the same reason). Kakashi had yet to find a worthy replacement for the series, but he was looking for one. That is, he was looking for a new series every couple of months when he had some time to relax in between missions.

He enjoyed his missions, although not the really risky ones that had been the bulk of his workload lately; nobody really liked those unless they actually did harbor a death wish.

He enjoyed spending time with his genin squad…who, admittedly, were chūnin now and had busy schedules which didn't allow for all of them to get together as often.

He enjoyed plenty of things.

He was _not _depressed.

Kakashi blinked, realizing that the chūnin taking in completed assignment reports at the mission desk was trembling slightly at the aura of irritation that Kakashi had been unintentionally radiating.

"Ah," said Kakashi apologetically, smiling with his visible eye. "I was thinking of how much I enjoyed life."

"R-right," stammered the chūnin, unconvinced.

Kakashi shrugged. "Jōnin 009720 reporting in from a solo mission, successful, no injuries, no need for immediate debriefing."

The professional address snapped the chūnin to attention. "Oh, good then." Checking his clipboard for notes, the chūnin pulled the appropriate paperwork from a pile and handed the forms to Kakashi. "The completed mission report is due in the next three days, as per routine. Upon delivery of the report to the mission desk, it will be reviewed by the attending supervisor to determine if it meets acceptable standards. Upon approval, you will be given your pay ticket, which may be redeemed at any time up to six months after its issue."

Kakashi nodded along absently, chūnin were required to give the same speech to every ninja returning from a village. The variations were few and often only changed if something went wrong during the mission that required a debriefing. Kakashi had this speech memorized by the time he was six, and by this point in his career had heard it over a thousand times.

"Also," added the twitchy young man, "My notes say that you've been assigned three months of furlough and that Hokage-sama has requested you report in to her personally within a reasonable time frame."

Kakashi narrowed his eyes. "I didn't request furlough."

The chūnin shrugged, "Well, it's been assigned to you. And the note has some handwritten additions," said the man with a straight face, "'Tell that one-eyed hooligan that 'reasonable time' means I expect his lazy ass in my office within a day—barring loss of legs.'"

The chūnin stared blankly at the copy ninja, who let out a slightly aggravated, "I see."

Kakashi folded the forms and slipped them into the inner pocket of his vest as he turned and ambled toward the Hokage's office. Normally, he'd go home and sleep for a day or so, make some visits to a couple of well-known rocks and then get around to answering the summons when he felt like it. However, he rather thought that maybe this furlough thing was some new form of punishment. Hopefully Tsunade-sama would be off guard enough by his timely attendance that she'd repeal it, or at the very least, shorten it.

No one stopped him as he went further into the administration building, brushing shoulders with tense assistants, getting a distracted nod of acknowledgment from the jōnin commander, and taking an alternative route when he spotted Anko coming down the hall finishing up a stick of dango.

"Sensei!"

He didn't mind taking a few minutes to catch up with this particular person, and he slowed down accordingly.

"Sakura-chan, you look well." That was a lie, but he'd found that sometimes it was best to lie to women. Sakura's hair was half-pulled up in a sloppy ponytail, frizzy strands escaping showing that she'd been pulling at it anxiously recently. She was a bit paler than usual and had dark circles under her eyes. She'd obviously tried to cover it up with some powder, but she'd been rubbing at her face and undone her disguise. Her eyes had an odd shine to them that ninja only had after taking a soldier pill one too many... or drinking fifteen cups of coffee within the past twenty four hours, Kakashi thought wryly, noticing the steaming mug that she was trying to balance on top a pile of heavy medical text books.

Sakura ignored his comments and hefted the heavy tomes in her arms to rest a bit of the weight on her hips. "Are you back from your mission? You look well. How long have you been here? No injuries right, of course not you would tell me, right? I mean I could heal them, but I have a test tomorrow morning, it's a practical and I need a bit of chakra—"

Kakashi put up his hands, "Breathe, Sakura-chan."

"Oh," she said, "Right."

Kakashi held up his hand and started counting off on his fingers. "Fine, just now, uninjured, good luck on your test—it'll go well." Kakashi paused for a moment, reflecting. "Yes, that's it."

"Good," Sakura nodded, determined. "My test will go well. But I have to study. Gotta go now, see you Wednesday afternoon." Sakura's words echoed over the walls as she marched past him down the hall, "Looking forward to it!"

"Later!" Kakashi said, returning his hands to his pockets. He had no idea what she was talking about, but the pink haired teenager was already turning the corner, a muffled "move it" and the startled squawk and stumble of a career paper ninja dropping several pounds of paper coming from the opposite direction the only reminder of her presence.

A sigh came from behind him and Kakashi turned to look at the entryway of the Hokage's office, to which he had nearly managed to arrive unmolested.

Shizune leaned in the doorway with an amused, indulgent expression on her face. Catching Kakashi's eye, she said lightly, as if sharing an inside joke, "I don't think Tsunade-sama has ever had an apprentice more likely to expire from an overdose of caffeine. The girl already has more credentials than any medical ninja can claim in any of our eight bordering countries, and she still pushes herself to absurd lengths."

Shizune meant her words to be teasing, but Kakashi felt his heart constrict a bit with the unintended reminder that his 'kids' really weren't kids anymore. They were all grown up now, with their own fearsome reputations and awe-inspiring accomplishments.

"Did you need to see Tsunade-sama," asked Shizune, mildly concerned. "Nothing went wrong on your mission, did it?"

"No." Kakashi, "But I was informed that I needed to check in with her."

"Well, you've caught her at a good time, I'm heading out to get some lunch but she's only signing pay tickets at the moment, just go on in."

Kakashi strode past the woman quietly, knocking on the wooden frame to announce his entrance since the Hokage's bowed head and slouched posture indicated that she wasn't paying too much attention to the occupants of her office at the moment.

The Godaime flicked her eyes up briefly then looked back at her papers, only to snap her head up at him and stare at him intensely moments later.

Kakashi bore with her awkward glare until she broke it off, muttering under her breath and opening a drawer, pulling out what looked suspiciously like some betting score cards.

"No," she said roughly, "No. No. I didn't win anything today so what the hell is wrong with you?"

Kakashi remained nonchalantly slouched in the doorway. "I'm just reporting to your office, as requested Godaime-sama."

"No, seriously," said the Hokage, "Did you kill the wrong target or something? Are you going on strike?" She peered at him suspiciously. "You didn't run into an orphaned princess and abandon the mission objective to save her again did you?"

Kakashi smiled with single visible eye, "I believe that one turned out in our favor, eventually." The copy ninja shrugged, "nothing is wrong, Tsunade-sama, I'm just responding to your summons."

The blonde glared at him a bit more, then pulled a mission scroll out from a drawer on her desk As she grumbled under her breath, "Fine. Whatever, just give a girl some warning," she waved Kakashi into the office.

"You responding in a timely fashion feels like a sign of the end of days." Tsunade tossed the scoll to the man. "Whatever," the woman casuaully relaxed back into her chair, settling in for a lng conversation. "I have two assignments for you."

Kakashi nodded, catching the scroll midair, examining it in his hands and moving to open it.

"Wait on that one for a second." Tsunade irritably waved at him to stop opening the document before giving a put-upon sigh. She ran a hand over her face tiredly, "I need you to get your three favorite problems up to snuff for the jōnin exam."

Kakashi blinked in surprise. "Aren't they already…?"

"No." Tsunade said bluntly. "Yes. Kind of," she leaned back with another sigh. "There are issues," Tsunade grimaced, "issues with each one of them actually. I am thinking about asking them to take the exam early next year."

"That far off?" Kakashi frowned. "They're already capable—"

"It's a council issue," Tsunade said, cutting off the jōnin. "Among other things." Tsunade spared him a look which implied that 'other things' could not be completely articulated at this point in time, but elaborated to a certain extent upon her words. "The Uchiha isn't allowed to apply for jōnin until he's officially off of his probation."

Kakashi nodded knowingly, stepping closer to her desk to take a chair, realizing that this was going to be a longer conversation than he had originally anticipated.

"It was only because Naruto made herself a pain in the ass," Tsunade paused before thoughtfully amending, "a more significant pain in the ass than usual, that he was allowed to take the last chūnin exam. The Council is still worried about him advancing too quickly."

Kakashi just gazed lazily at the woman, eye half-lidded and looking like he wanted to do nothing more than to go take a nap.

Tsunade ignored the man's (probably) feigned nonchalance. "Of course, if Uchiha keeps behaving, he'll be off probation in a matter of months. I know the council is planning on dropping a shit ton of missions on the boy's shoulders, partially because he hasn't been taking any and he's fully rested but also because they think a busy Uchiha is not as dangerous as an Uchiha with time on his hands."

Kakashi privately thought this was a wise philosoohy which should be applied to all the members of Team Seven, excluding himself, of course, and nodded along to the Godaime's words as she continued.

"There might be some truth to that line of thinking, but you and I both know that the boy does better with goals, if he is actively working toward an achievement of some kind. If the Uchiha thinks he's just being used as a workhorse, he's going to get frustrated." The Hokage gave the jōnin a level look, as if she was expecting him to protest her next words. "And he's going to get frustrated no matter what because I'm putting my foot down on assigning him work above his official rank. The earliest I can get the council to consider advancing him to jōnin is through the exams next spring. I want him to know that and be working toward that."

"I can understand the dilemma with Sasuke," said Kakashi slowly, "but how does his situation justify postponing Naruto's and Sakura's advancements?" After all, Kakashi thought, the next exams would be this fall, why make the girls wait another half a year for a well-deserved promotion?

Tsunade shook her head. "They're all tied together in a way," she narrowed honey-brown eyes at the copy ninja. "I blame you, you know. Currently the only people willing to spar with Uchiha are his former teammates and Gai's student. No one else will touch him, it's like he has a plague."

The woman sighed and pushed her hair out of her face. "He's finding it very hard to readjust to village life, or at least, he's finding it hard adjusting to socializing with his peers. I'm not sure the brat was ever well-adjusted to village life. The only time he interacts with others is when he trains by sparring with his former team mates. But with all of you busy on missions, that doesn't happen frequently. I'm hoping by encouraging you to work together he'll become more social."

Kakashi just hummed, expression veiling his personal opinions, which were along the lines that the four had been forced to work together for almost a decade now and Kakashi had seen no improvement.

Then again, it wasn't like Kakashi's social life was anything to write home about either.

"On the other hand," Tsunade continued, "There is my apprentice. Who is so busy working herself to the bone that the jōnin exams are literally the last thing she cares about. If she was left to her own devices, I'm not sure that she'd ever take them. She's working primarily at the hospital now, where being a jōnin won't get her any other privileges than a pay raise." Tsunade shook her head sadly, posture loudly saying 'what can you do?' in a very resigned sort-of way. "Her medical licenses give her access to most of the jōnin-rank classified medical texts. She doesn't want to take on a genin squad and if someone shows promise as a student she'll be able to take them on as an apprentice despite her rank of chūnin."

Kakashi suppressed a shiver as he envisioned a small army of Sakuras taking over the hospital. He'd rathernnot return wounded from missions tobbe cared for by creatures who knew almost all his exit plans and favorite places for hiding banned literature.

"Additionally," the Hokage continued reluctantly, "if a medic-nin of her caliber is needed on a mission then she's going, no matter her rank. I just don't have enough highly capable medic-nin who are also jōnin that I can be picky in my assignments. But if I tell her that she's taking the exams next spring and give her a training schedule to adhere to, she'll take the damn thing."

"And Naruto," Kakashi drawled questioningly, wanting to hear his leader's analysis regarding the final member of his trio.

"She's kind of just got caught in the whole mess," admitted Tsunade. "But it's not like she's going to complain, in fact, I'd say she's excited about guaranteed training time with the other two. She could go ahead and take the upcoming exam this month if she wanted, but I'm afraid the council would fail to approve the assignment the first few times and I'd have to override their decision on her third exam."

The woman let out a scoff, "Their main concern is her youth, and what they view as a lack of maturity, despite how many times she's shown herself to be one of the strongest ninja of our village."

"The next spring exam is just a little under a year away and I'm hoping the council will have resigned themselves to the inevitable by then and pass her with her teammates."

Tsunade tapped the tabletop in irritation. "Or maybe they'll just finally die."

Kakashi bit back a snort. They wouldn't be that lucky.

"Sounds like you've thought this through then, but why have I been drafted into this mess and put on furlough for a month?" Kakashi inquired, tone bored despite the inquisitive nature of his words.

Tsunade rolled her eyes and started to sign the large stack of pay tickets in front of her as she talked. "Uchiha is still on probation for the next few months, he can't use most of his techniques unless he's being supervised by you or someone else that has volunteered to be on his approved list of babysitters." Tsunade shuffled some papers, dryly adding, "As you can imagine, it's a very small list."

"Just myself, then?" Kakashi asked.

"And Gai." Admitted the Hokage.

Kakashi wasn't completely surprised, but it was still a pleasant feeling to know that Gai was doing what he could to look out for his kids when Kakashi couldn't himself.

"If they are actually going to improve, they're going to need to experiment and use some of their more dangerous abilities. And no matter how smart they think that they are, you still have a couple things to teach them."

"I think you overestimate my capabilities as a teacher," the jōnin stated calmly.

Tsunade snorted, "Bullshit. Stop selling yourself short, I don't have time to soothe your ego today. I need you to work with Sakura on her affinity. She has one, but she's completely ignored honing it and doesn't know a single doton technique. Fix that, and make sure she's comfortable using it defensively in battle situations. Likewise, Sasuke and Naruto could use some elemental training. Sasuke relies heavily on chidori and derivatives of the attack. While its fancy and effective, I want you to teach him some more lightning release techniques to play with and see what he can come up with. Also," Tsunade sighed, "I hate to ask you this, but the boy's likely to wind up recruited to ANBU eventually, make sure he knows what he needs to know to get his missions done and keep sane."

"As for Naruto," Tsunade rubbed her temples, "where to start?"

"You aren't pleased with her rate of progress," Kakashi asked, slightly confused.

"I wouldn't say that," Tsunade paused, trying to gather her thoughts. "She just has so much to learn and I don't have enough time to teach it all to her. I'm handling training her in politics, but the council is being fussy and fighting my decision to announce that she's my successor. I don't intend to step down for a few years yet, but I think it would relieve some tension if there was a public acknowledgment regarding who will be following me. There were some close calls in the war that led to sticky situations, I don't want to leave the Village in that mess if something unexpected happens in the next few years before I officially retire."

"What would you like me to teach her?" Kakashi relaxed a little knowing the source of Tsunade's concerns.

"To start with, she needs advanced fūinjutsu training. She's only paid it absent-minded attention at best, and with her circumstances she just can't keep relying on others to master the field for her. Besides, I'd like to see if she has any of Minato's talent in the area. From what I remember of my conversations with Jiraiya, he intended to but never began teaching her about the subject. See what she knows and what you can do to bring her up to speed. You know more about the subject than the average shinobi, and if she shows true talent with it I can take up teaching her once she's exhausted your knowledge. If she ever does."

Kakashi nodded. "That will take more time to accomplish than what I can give in an afternoon group sparring session."

"Then give it to her," Tsunade stated, tone conveying that she wouldn't be accepting excuses regarding this matter. "There aren't enough fūinjutsu masters left, if she's got talent we teach her, even if its slow-going."

Tsunade pushed aside her paperwork and locked eyes with Kakashi. "Do you remember her mother's chakra chain technique?"

Kakashi blinked, "I saw it once or twice."

"Naruto is convinced she didn't inherit the ability, but I'm not so sure that she just hasn't figured out how to manifest it. Kushina's chakra control wasn't any better than Naruto's that I recall, I'm not even sure that Naruto has tried to use her chakra that way. The way she threw it around in the war though," the Hokage trailed off, mind lost in old memories. Blinking her eyes, she focused on the jōnin in front of her and pushed forward, "it just seems like she ought to be able to do it. See what you can try with her."

Kakashi narrowed his single eye. "Any other miracles you'd like me to pull out of my pockets?"

Tsunade gave him a sharp look, but only said, "Now that you mention it, she only uses wind attacks. See if she's got a second affinity, if she does, then tell her teammates to keep hush about it. Train her in it, but tell her not to reveal it on the exam. Its good for a Hokage to have a few trump cards to play when needed."

Kakashi stood, slouched easily before the Hokage's desk, but internally he felt like cringing. This was a long wish list and suddenly 'almost a year' didn't seem like a lot of time. "You mentioned a set schedule."

"Yes," said the Hokage, not looking up from the documents that she was signing. "Every Wednesday and Saturday afternoon, one o'clock, Training Ground Three. I've gone ahead and taken the liberty of booking that field on those dates for a year's time. You'll be paid jōnin teaching wages for your hours and you can request a supply budget through the proper channels if you feel its needed for something. You'll still be receiving missions, and if you are out I'll assign someone else to supervise them at that time. Any questions?"

"Furlough." Kakashi said bitterly.

Tsunade smiled, "Not my fault. Your councilor over in Psych. demanded it, said you were working yourself too hard."

Kakashi scoffed, "I'm fine, Hokage-sama—"

"Good, because you don't have the time completely off. I expect you to get started with your team this week, and you'll have plenty of time to start working with Naruto separately on fūinjutsu. Also, I've got another job for you in that scroll."

Kakashi looked at the paper in his hands, almost having forgotten about it, preoccupied with the Hokage's previous announcement. "And it is?"

"Something you can do here, at home, while you're technically on furlough, since I know you wouldn't know what to do with three months of free-time if it jumped out of a box and bit you on the ass."

"What rank," asked the copy ninja, ignoring the Hokage's jibe.

"A," said Tsunade seriously, "but only because of how highly classified the information is. I don't expect anything too dangerous to occur on this assignment. I don't expect you to be involved in any physical confrontation at all, actually."

"Oh?" Kakashi turned over the scroll, intrigued. "What is it you need me to do?"

Tsunade set down her pen and rested her head against her intertwined fingers, watching the jōnin with serious, steady brown eyes. "I need you to track down the remnants of ROOT."

Kakashi stopped unfurling the scroll. "That hasn't been done yet?"

Tsunade grimaced. "Unfortunately, it's just not been a priority and we've been heavily overbooked since the end of the war. That, and I need someone with a certain level of intelligence to sort through the information I have and it needs to be someone I trust. You were my top choice and you've been busy." Tsunade cleared her throat. "With the recent jōnin exams, we'll finally have enough ninja to support our regular mission load, and I can spare a few people to take on 'in-house' assignments like this one, which have been pushed to the backburner, so to speak."

"You couldn't assign it to ANBU?"

Tsunade shook her head, "I need someone who can think and has a certain awareness of history and intimacy with classified events. I don't have anyone currently in ANBU old enough to remember certain events that might be important, or who is capable of making the deductions you can make. I have boxes of information I need you to sort through. I want to know who is left alive from the organization and what they are doing. And I want to know where the old meeting places were and make sure that all experiments are ended and all equipment is confiscated. I'm terrified of missing someone like Kabuto, who could escape and carry out their own agenda due to a brainwashed loyalty to Danzo that didn't end with the man's death. Will you accept?"

"Of course," Kakashi agreed, any threat left behind by Root would eventually harm the people he cared about most, "I'm surprised you felt that you had to ask."

"I know I play the role of benevolent dictator well, but there is still some free-will in this Village," Tsunade said sarcastically. "I'm reminded that I need to remedy that every time you or your crew of misfits enters my office."

"My crew of misfits?" asked Kakashi, amused as Tsunade dismissed him from her office with a wave of her hands.

* * *

_I take back all the times that I've previously said this statement, __**This**__ is the stupidest thing that I've ever seen you doing._

_Shut up_, Naruto hissed at the overgrown mammal sealed inside of her, _This flirting stuff is harder than it looks._

Naruto had already given up on the face paints, which had been tossed unceremoniously into a box under her bathroom sink. Currently, she was eying herself in the mirror, trying to get used to her new sleeping clothes and practicing some of the poses that Ino claimed were "practically magic."

"I feel ridiculous," she said, deflating and watching as her reflection mirrored her slumped posture of defeat. "How the hell is this supposed to be sexy? I just feel cold and awkward." Naruto trounced to her bed, knocking the target doll that she had made in the likeness of her sensei long ago off the bed in a huff.

_I don't understand why you are under the impression that clothes are at all necessary to the mating process._

"Oh my God," cried Naruto, bolting upright in the bed, "Please tell me you aren't going to be 'aware' of anything that happens between me and…well, any guy ever?"

Silence greeted Naruto's surprised cry.

_Kurama! _Naruto thought loudly and frantically.

Eventually she could feel his rumbling response. _I will endeavor to turn my attention elsewhere when certain situations arise, but you must know that anything which…excites your chakra, pulls me to awareness of your circumstances. _

Naruto's jaw dropped in horror as she fell back onto her pillows and covered her eyes with her arm. "I hate my life."

* * *

**Next Week: Chapter 7 – Practice Makes Perfect**

(AKA: Sasuke Always knew his Teammates were Crazy)

"_What_ are you two doing?" the words came slowly, from the deep familiar voice, tone suggesting that the answer might not be something he actually wanted to know.


	8. Practice Makes Perfect

Story: Making Arrangements

Rating: M

Author: CrownsofLaurels

Beta(s): **CrystallineX** (who catches all my typos, major plot holes, and mistakes due to sleep deprivation) and **Ladywinterfic** (who helps with characterization and plot development).

Chapter Seven: Practice Makes Perfect

Summary: Sasuke always thought his teammates were insane, this just confirms it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, I write this for fun and am not paid for it.

* * *

**Chapter Seven: Practice Makes Perfect**

Sakura arrived purposefully early to their weekly meeting at Training Ground Three with her lunch and a textbook to enjoy a nice, private picnic.

The peaceful atmosphere was spoiled when Naruto came crashing into the clearing barely thirty minutes later, tripping as she jumped down from a tree, catching herself from making intimate acquaintance with the grass at the last second. The blonde wobbled awkwardly in the new heeled boots that Ino insisted the girl pair with her recently revamped wardrobe.

Sakura paused, apple halfway to her mouth. "Those heels are only an inch and a half thick, they aren't even stilettos, please tell me that something else almost caused you to make a meal of the ground today."

Naruto scowled at her friend. "I can handle them fine for the most part, it's just when I come down from a jump. It's not flat all the way like a sandal and it's messing me up."

"Really, Naruto," Sakura said flatly, "We're ninja, you're going to stand there and tell me that your balance isn't good enough to adjust to something as simple as heels?"

Naruto blushed, "It's just different! That's all!"

Sakura sighed and proceeded to put the jinchūriki through a crash course in how to fight in heeled boots. At the end of it, Naruto was far from experienced, but she was at least accomplished enough that the boys probably wouldn't notice the difference and Naruto hopefully wouldn't trip and twist an ankle. _If we're lucky_, Sakura thought, as Naruto collapsed next to her in a huff and investigated the remains of Sakura's packed lunch.

"You're here early," Naruto noted, claiming Sakura's last rice ball as her own.

Sakura's eyebrow twitched. "I needed a_ quiet_ place to study, why are you here early?"

Naruto shrugged, taking a large bite from the rice ball, "Lookin' for you."

"Ughh," said Sakura, "Don't talk with your mouth full, Naruto, it's not ladylike. Have you thought about how to implement Ino's advice today?"

The blonde chūnin swallowed her food. "Well, I thought today I'd just start by wearing this stuff." She gestured to her outfit, which included her skirt and low-cut tank top.

"Flirting isn't just about what you wear, Naruto," snapped Sakura. "How are you going to act?"

"Look," Naruto glared back, uncharacteristically moody, "I've been thinking about it, but I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I mean, what do you want from me? To coo and bat my eyes and fondle his triceps?"

Sakura knocked the girl lightly upside the head. "Flirting isn't about being a mindless ditz, Naruto. Don't you remember anything they taught us at the Academy?"

Naruto clutched her head and muttered a negative response.

Sakura sighed and began to lecture. "It's an information game, it's about finding out what another person likes and dislikes. Once you find out what someone finds physically attractive, you use that knowledge to draw their attention to what you want them to see, and distract them from what you want to hide."

"Well, it's not like either of us knows what's going to work on these guys," said Naruto with a pout.

"Exactly," said Sakura, all confidence, "That's why Ino thinks this is a good challenge. She thinks that it will take us a while to figure out what will fluster Sasuke or Sensei. Once we find out, we can distract them and win the battle." Sakura's chakra flared on the last statement and Naruto quailed slightly in the face of the other girl's fanaticism.

"So," said the pink-haired chūnin, addressing her reluctant accomplice, "what are you going to try first? Changing the way you dress helps, but you have to add physical action to your appearance to get a result."

"I dunno," Naruto looked at her helplessly. "Any ideas you wanna share?"

Sakura studied her teammate carefully for a moment. "One thing that can work for you is your low-cut top. The jacket makes it seem more conservative, but think about how many times we fall onto each other in a misstep in an exercise. If you take advantage of the right moment, a face full of cleavage can be very distracting."

Naruto blushed and tried to pull the too-small jacket a bit more tightly around her, "That may be a move to save for later." _If ever_, she added silently to herself.

Sakura shrugged. "And then there are your legs, which are a lot easier to use. The nice thing about a skirt is that it can rise up and catch a guy's attention." Sakura paused, eyes narrowing, "but that trick works better if a guy can't tell that you are wearing shorts underneath." She flipped out a kunai from the equipment pouch on her hip and advanced on the other chūnin.

Naruto scuttled backward, crablike. "What are you doing?"

"Those spandex shorts are about two inches too long, I'm going to trim them," Sakura said matter-of-factly, blowing her bangs out of her eyes.

Naruto squawked indignantly as Sakura grabbed at her and began tearing away at the offending garment. Naruto fidgeted and complained and kneed her in the face at one point. Sakura snarled at her to hold still and evened out the hemline of the spandex under the skirt.

This is of course, how Sasuke found them, with Sakura's hands under Naruto's skirt and Naruto red-faced as a tomato and yelling bloody murder.

"_What_ are you two doing?" the words came slowly from the deep familiar voice, tone suggesting that the answer might not be something he actually wanted to know.

Both girls froze, and then Sakura spun around, face the same rosy shade as Naruto's. "Wardrobe malfunction," she squeaked, "I fixed it, don't worry."

The Uchiha leveled a glare at her that implied he questioned her IQ for ever thinking that he was _worried_ and gave a clipped grunt. Then he moved to a log a dozen feet away from the girls, where he sat, hands folded, adopting his familiar angsty, brooding posture.

Sakura busied herself packing away the remains of her lunch and textbook as Naruto twiddled her thumbs in the awkward silence, too embarrassed to begin the conversation.

Once Sakura had taken a few moments to compose herself, she cleared her throat and tried to remedy the tense atmosphere. "So, Sasuke-kun. Naruto-chan and I went shopping last week, do you like her new outfit?"

Sasuke's look was slightly incredulous, but as he opened his mouth to emit a scathing remark, he stopped, truly taking note of Naruto for the first time that day.

"What's wrong with _you_, Moron?" He snorted. "You look like a girl."

Naruto's eyes narrowed and her face turned blotchy with anger as she launched herself at the boy with an indignant yell, knocking him off his log with one sweeping kick and rolling them both to the dirt floor as she attempted to throttle him.

He snarled at her, calling her names and grappling with her hands, trying to pry them from his neck.

Sakura jumped to her feet and railed at them both, loudly berating them to "act your age" and "are you ninja are not, someone's going to get their eye poked out and I'm so not putting it back in!"

The brawl was interrupted with a fake cough.

The three stilled and turned sullen heads toward the intruder.

"Ah," said Kakashi, smiling with his one eye, "It's so nice to see you all getting along for once."

"You're late, Sensei," growled Sakura, looking much more intimidating at eighteen than she had at twelve, tightening the glove on her fist in a threatening fashion before resting her hands indignantly on her hips.

"My watch is two hours fast," said Kakashi, apologetically.

Sakura blinked, "That doesn't even make sense!" Her antagonism dissipated at the absurdity as the two on the ground uncurled awkwardly from the dog pile in which they'd tangled themselves.

"Watch your hands, Sasuke-bastard," snapped Naruto with a scowl.

Flustered (although he'd never admit it), Sasuke jumped away as if burned, and hissed, "My hands aren't anywhere near—"

"No flirting during training, Sasuke," said Sakura with a straight face.

Sasuke looked perturbed.

Kakashi paused and took in the group, not sure what to make of the odd exchange. "Ok, ducklings," he finally said, ignoring the circumstances for the time being. "Time to get down to business."

Fortunately, this put a halt to the strange tension in the air and the three students focused on the jōnin. "Here is the plan…"

The plan, evidently, was for them all to take on Kakashi in a spar, three against one. The only rules were to refrain from using attacks that would undoubtedly cause permanent, irreparable damage to a target or the environment, such as Naruto's rasenshuriken or any of Sasuke's mangekyo abilities.

_Apparently_, Kakashi had been holding back on the group, because even with the three of them working fairly well together (meaning that no one had yet to snap and _seriously_ try to injure another team member), it had taken them an hour to realize that they were tracking an earth clone and another two hours to pin Kakashi in a position from which he had no choice but to surrender.

When it was done, they gathered together and debriefed from the fight, something new that they hadn't done in the past. When asked, Kakashi pointed out that the jōnin exam would have a heavy emphasis on strategy, and that he wanted them to get comfortable forming and explaining strategies taking into account different variables such as the number of teammates, the number of opponents, the importance of the mission objective and whether it had already or had yet to be achieved, the weather, the condition of those involved, the inevitable rampaging of a bijū and century old shinobi thought to be dead, etc…

Sasuke privately thought that Kakashi was just trying to hide the fact that he was old and needed a moment to catch his breath before he continued. But Naruto and Sakura were listening intently and so he kept his thoughts to himself and kept his hands clearly visible in his lap just in case Naruto decided to make any more outrageous allegations.

Eventually, Kakashi tossed Sasuke two scrolls, one containing basic C-rank raiton jutsu and the other containing B-rank raiton jutsu.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at the older man.

"I expect you to have all those mastered by the end of this month, be prepared to demonstrate them," said the copy ninja.

Sasuke grunted in acknowledgement.

Kakshi then tossed Sakura one scroll, giving her the same instructions.

The pink-headed chūnin wrinkled her nose, "Why do I only get one scroll?"

"Because you are expected to be a good, contributing member of society and work at the hospital a significant amount of the time while Sasuke-kun has nothing better to do," said Kakashi, patiently.

Sasuke scowled.

"Now, now," cooed the jōnin, "Don't be mad at Sakura-chan because you made bad life choices."

Sakura beamed smugly.

Sasuke's scowl deepened and Naruto grinned, jumping up and down and waving her hand in the air enthusiastically.

Sasuke diverted his eyes with a weird tightening of his chest, fighting back an irrational desire to let a flush come over his face. _What a moron, who chooses to wear that type of top as a ninja. Could she not tell that she was about to fall out of that thing? It was worse than Karin. And why was Sakura looking at him like that?_

"Me next! I want a scroll," cried Naruto eagerly.

"Ah, not today Naru-chan."

She stuck out her lower lip and pouted cutely.

Kakashi checked a sudden and bizarre urge to reach out and pat her on the head by quickly stuffing his hands into his pockets.

"I'm going to work with you on elemental jutsu later, but first, Tsunade-sama wants me to start testing you for fūinjutsu and see if you have an aptitude for some unique chakra techniques."

Naruto paused, "Fūin…that's sealing right? Huh, I guess that could be fun," she rocked back onto her heels, blinking.

Kakashi nodded, "I'll need to work with you one-on-one for those lessons, but I'd like for us to all be involved in the group sessions. Do you have any missions right now?"

Naruto shrugged, "Not really," she hesitated before adding, "at least, nothing that's going to take me away from the Village."

Naruto cursed her inability to lie, but Kakashi and the others didn't make much of the comment, knowing that lately the blonde was often closeted with the Hokage and assuming that the village leader was handing out assignments of her own.

"Then we'll meet tomorrow, here, same time, and start with the basics."

Sakura chipped in, "I have some medical texts that describe fūinjutsu basics."

Kakashi smiled at her, "Those won't be particularly helpful, I'm afraid. Tsunade-sama wants to see if Naruto can use fūinjutsu in battle. Medical fūinjutsu operate on different principles. It can be hard to mesh the two, especially for beginners."

Sakura hummed thoughtfully as the jōnin departed, Sasuke seemingly dissolving into the forest shortly afterward. She and Naruto fell into pace with one another as they took a familiar route to the more crowded civilian district, in the habit of getting dinner together after practice unless one had a prior commitment.

"So, how did it go?" asked Naruto lazily, crossing her arms behind her head.

They walked down the empty path in silence for a moment until Sakura bluntly admitted, "Sensei's a sucker for your eyes and Sasuke's a boob man."

Naruto's eyes bulged and she sputtered, "W-what?"

Sakura didn't pause and Naruto had to quicken her steps to catch up to her. "Hey you, explain!"

The medic-nin shrugged her shoulders. "I watched their non-verbal gestures, their body language, when they had to respond to you. Sasuke was embarrassed by his proximity to you, which he never has been before, and kept looking away when you made movements that drew attention to your breasts. Sensei, on the other hand, didn't seem to notice your new outfit, maybe he's desensitized himself with that dumb book, but when you pouted at him your eyes got big and they made him uncomfortable."

Sakura stopped and seemed to be considering the situation. "Not in a bad way though, I think," she frowned, trying to come up with the underlying reasons for the behavior she'd observed. "Just, whatever he was feeling it was something he was trying not to act on?"

Naruto chewed on the ends of her hair thoughtfully until Sakura noticed and swatted at her.

"So," said the blonde, "Try the skirt trick with Sasuke next time and then build up to the cleavage thing and," she glanced to the side, watching Sakura out of the corner of her eyes, "Umm, what should I do about Sensei, then?"

Sakura hooked arms with her as they entered the village, "Try to get into his personal space, like this, and then when he notices you try to make and hold eye contact. See what he does with that and we'll go from there."

"Ok," agreed Naruto happy enough to let someone else make the plans for the moment.

* * *

Kakashi wasn't surprised to find Naruto already waiting for him by the time he arrived at the training field the next day. Being waited on was quite normal for him, but what did surprise him was that Naruto was, if one could call it this, _patiently_ waiting. She was sitting in the middle of the clearing in a cross-legged position, hands placed gently on her knees with her eyes closed.

He slouched forward, hands in his pockets, and came to a stop a few inches from her kneecaps, nudging her gently with a foot when he realized she wasn't going to come out of her trance on her own anytime soon.

Familiar cobalt-colored eyes opened slowly and blinked, darker and more distant than he was used to seeing from a person who he'd come to see as synonymous with open and friendly.

"Ah, Naruto, where did you go?" Kakashi asked curiously as the girl yawned and stretched.

"Was thinkin'," she mumbled. "With Kurama." Her voice gained energy as her world came into focus and she looked in alarm up at her teacher, gesturing distractedly. "We had stuff to talk about," she flailed a bit with her arms, "and things…"she trailed off lamely.

Kakashi found the way she floundered for words oddly endearing. She obviously did not want to tell him whatever her thoughts had been, so he decided to put her out of her misery and change the subject. The last thing he needed to do was to put pressure on the girl and find out what village gossip had her fretting.

"Are you back now?" He asked with a teasing tone as she jumped up and resumed her usual energetic attitude.

"Yes! Seals, Sensei! What am I supposed to know?"

He chuckled. "This isn't going to be easy, and I wanted to teach you separately because, quite frankly, I won't be too surprised if you don't succeed at this," Kakashi quickly supplemented his last comment, "at least I'm not sure that you'll succeed at this in the way which Tsunade-sama hopes that you will."

"Hey!" Naruto's cheeks puffed out indignantly and her hair bristled as she shouted various warranties about her intelligence and work ethic.

Kakashi took the opportunity to find a relatively flat spot in the training field and she followed, continuing her exclamations, in his footsteps. He pulled some scrolls out of his pockets and dropped to the ground gracefully, tugging on his companion's wrist to bring her crashing to the ground next to him and effectively stopping her diatribe.

"Now that I have your attention," Kakashi smiled with his visible eye and Naruto blushed slightly, which Kakashi chalked up to as embarrassment. "As I was saying, this is difficult, it's a field that my Sensei, your father, was a master of to a certain degree. Jiraiya-sama was also considered a master of this field, but he would have told you himself that Minato far outstripped his own talent in fūinjutsu. Tsunade-sama has an impressive theoretical understanding of fūinjutsu, and while she can apply it quite successfully in the medical sense, she wouldn't attempt the types of seals that Sensei and Jiraiya-sama studied. And, in another vein, your mother was very good at fūinjutsu. She was not as innovative as Sensei with the skillset, and she didn't employ it as an active battle technique, but she was very intuitive and helped Sensei break through some of the blocks he encountered in his projects. I learned about fūinjutsu, to a certain extent, because they studied it so thoroughly."

Kakashi paused and tapped one finger meaningfully against his covered eye. "What I saw them do, I can replicate, in a sense, but I can't always use it as effectively. I've tried to master fūinjutsu, but my mind just isn't wired the right way to approach the subject."

Kakakashi looked meaningfully at the blonde, "You aren't your father, or your mother, or even Jiraiya. And you have a different learning style that doesn't always mesh with the way I teach. However, we're currently experiencing a shortage of seal masters, which is why Tsunade is willing to spend the time securing someone to test you and see if you have any ability in the area. If you do, we'll hone that ability, whatever it might be."

Naruto nodded attentively, palms gripping her knees.

"So let's start with the basics, then, shall we? What do you know about seals? What seals can you think of off the top of your head?"

Naruto cocked her head, blue eyes thoughtful. "Well, I know they can be used to store things, like weapons for missions or even things as big as bijū, when necessary. I know we use them to make things explode sometimes. I've seen people make them with ink or blood. I know they require chakra to activate." Naruto shrugged, "That's it really."

Kakashi prodded her on, gently. "Do you know how Tsunade-sama uses seals? Can you think of how the seals you described are all different?"

The blonde sighed, "Granny uses the seals to heal people." Naruto was silent for a few moments, thinking. "And the seals she uses are all the same, I mean, anybody can copy the medical seals that she uses and make it work themselves with the right kind of application of chakra. Explosive seals are all the same, anybody can use them by applying the right amount of chakra. But, the seals for the jinchūriki are different, they are all different, and they require different amounts of chakra." Naruto's brow scrunched as she thought, hand absently reaching up to pull on a pig-tail. "Those kinds are a lot more complicated and technical. And storage seals can be a lot more complicated to use too, especially if they are the kind that will only release for specific people."

"Then you've noticed some of the most important aspects of fūinjutsu: it's adaptable and can be personalized." Kakashi removed a basic exploding tag and set it on the ground between them. "Basic seals, like this one, are easy to make and can replicated by using another seal. They require barely any chakra to create, mass produce, and activate. Do you remember being taught to make these at the Academy?"

"Yes," Naruto said with a grimace.

"Why the face?" Kakashi asked.

The chūnin ran an aggravated hand through her bangs. "It was one of those things I never seemed to be able to get the hang of," she huffed, frustrated, "I just couldn't make it work right." Naruto tapped a finger thoughtfully against her chin, "But, maybe it was like the bunshin and I was just applying too much chakra?"

"That's very possible," the man agreed, taking a moment to draw out some blank paper squares from his vest along with an inkpot. "Today, we'll start with trying to replicate this seal, since it is so basic. You may remember this from the Academy," Kakashi paused as Naruto laughed sheepishly, tugging nervously at a pigtail. "You may remember this, but your design doesn't have to perfectly mimic this one, part of the art of fūnjutsu is that you have to do what feels naturally to you. It's why not everyone can master this field. The best masters become so familiar with the seals that they've created that they can apply them with a mere touch of their fingertips. It becomes instinctual, and a matter of intent and concentrated chakra application. Many never master this, even I can only apply a few seals this way."

Kakashi pushed the materials toward the younger girl. "Why don't you try to make your own, here."

Naruto picked up the exploding tag and looked at it. "Aren't you supposed to tell me what these symbols and numbers mean? Isn't that supposed to help you learn to do this stuff?"

The jōnin shook his head. "Not necessarily. In medical fūinjutsu, where the seals are standardized it certainly helps to approach learning seals as if one is learning a language. But the types of seals your parents did…Your mother always said that she was born knowing how to speak in seals. She said that the people who truly mastered fūinjutsu each had their own way to 'speak' the language, and that it wasn't something that could really be taught from one person to another…that everyone had their own language for creating seals and it was best that they learned how to use it."

Naruto eyed the blank tags speculatively and Kakashi could only shrug his shoulders. "I never really understood what she was saying. I've always approached seals as if they were based on a concrete language and have repeated what I've seen and copied with the sharingan. But, then again, the seals that I've 'copied' have never worked as well for me as they did for their original creators, and I've been entirely unsuccessful creating new seals based on what I believe I know of the language. Why don't you just give your mother's advice a try and see what happens."

The jinchūriki looked anxiously at the older man, "But what if it doesn't do what we want it to? What if it does something really bad?"

"Well," Kakashi drawled, "I doubt that you are going to wind up creating a space time seal if you're only trying to create an exploding tag. Remember, seals are limited, to a certain extent, by the intent of their creator. I'm not sure really how it works. I've never understood it because none of the explanations Jiraiya-san gave me ever made sense in my own mind. Just remember, regulate your intent and regulate your chakra." Kakashi tried to radiate his usual calm and collected demeanor, "I think you'll be able to control any unforeseen consequences if you keep that in mind."

Naruto looked unconvinced.

Kakashi sighed, slouching a little before admitting, "When I first tried this, I did it behind Sensei's back and without supervision. I hid for two days before Kushina-san, your mother, found me and dragged me back to Sensei to explain what I'd done to burn off my eyebrows and why the Laundromat owner was out for my blood." He looked at his student, "I doubt whatever you manage to do, with supervision no less, will be any more traumatic."

The blonde grinned and repositioned herself so that she was sitting next to Kakashi and he could watch what she designed over her shoulders. After about fifteen minutes of creating something that somewhat resembled the original tag, Naruto leaned back, bumping shoulders with the jōnin before announcing, "Done."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow, "Are you sure?"

"Yes," said the girl confidently.

"Let's see it then," instructed the copy ninja.

Naruto placed a palm on the tag, channeling, what for her, was a small amount of chakra into the instrument.

Kakashi's eyes widened as he felt a swell of power coming from the paper, the inked lines extending from the paper in a circle about two feet in diameter, glowing in the telltale sign of activated fūinjutsu. In seconds, he'd grabbed Naruto around the waist and used a shunshin to haul them both to the safety of the trees forty feet away from the field. They were still roughly thrown against the tree trunk from the force of the blast. Dirt and other debris littered the air and Naruto coughed into Kakashi's chest, dimly realizing that she'd thrown her arms around his neck in surprise and trying to relax her grip, which most certainly was cutting off his air supply.

As the dust settled, the pair in the tree surveyed the damage done to the clearing, where a twenty-foot crater of indeterminable depth now marked their previous location.

"Ahh," said Kakashi weakly, taking in the destruction and avoiding Naruto's startled blue gaze, "at least you still have eyebrows."

* * *

**Next Week: Chapter 8 – Discriminate Touching**

(AKA: Sasuke is a Sulky Guinea Pig and Kakashi Smells Something Fishy)

Kakashi tilted his head, observing his student for a moment and debating the likelihood of whether this was a matter that he could actually help resolve or some type of emotional/social issue, in which case he should just cut his losses and go toss Iruka at the problem.


End file.
